Being Sensible

It started with a tickle in my throat on Friday. By Saturday night I was hoarse. By Sunday I was coughing and some bastard had filled my sinuses with cement. My back and legs ached like I'd just run several miles, which is hysterical because I hated running when I was on the track team and had to run miles for my Civil Air Patrol training as a teenager, so why would I do it voluntarily now?? Shut up about no one making me join the track team or CAP.

My point is that I'm sick. I could have been sensible and stayed home from work on Monday. But on Friday we had a staff meeting and were told that our unit has the worst sick leave record of all the oncology units. Well hell. How am I supposed to call out sick the very next day when my boss, whom I like nearly as much as Former Boss Lady back at the US Hospital That Used to Employ Me, is under pressure to reduce our sick leave? How bad is that going to look for everyone? Yes I know I really shouldn't be around people whose immune systems are compromised by the drugs we're pumping into them in an attempt (mostly successful) to save their lives, but I can't call out sick! So yesterday I pumped myself full of Sudafed and 800mg of ibuprofen (yes I know the recommended dose is 400mg - shush) and went to work.

I put up with the hot flashes and general shitty feeling until about noon, when the ibuprofen wore off. I grabbed a hot pack that we use to warm up patient's arms to try and find a vein and stuffed it down the waistband of my pants to ease the pain in my back and soldiered on. When I started coughing again and the hot flashes got so bad I was breaking out in a sweat I finally went to my boss to say that I was really sorry that I may make us both look bad, but I might not be in the next day. To her credit she asked if I needed to go home, but since it was close to 3pm and I was finishing in an hour and a half (and just going to lunch, to give you an indication of how our days go) I said I was good.

And just to make crystal clear - she didn't put any pressure on me to come in Monday, or imply that I needed to come in today. "If you're sick, you're sick," she said, watching me fan myself in her office. But the people who are taking sick leave when they're not sick, who check the roster to see what days are good to "chuck a sickie" don't seem to give a shit if they put pressure on her or the rest of us. And I am the type of person who seems to have an overblown sense of responsibility, so I went in to work on Monday.

Today, however, common sense prevailed in the form of a pounding headache in my left sinus cavity. The Hermit did very well in getting all four kids out the door as I lay under the ceiling fan on our bed, alternating between those damn hot flashes and getting cold from the fan. Today was probably the better day to stay home anyway, as my bowels decided they didn't want to be left out of the party and I was forced to add Immodium to my medicinal collection at my bedside.

Oh, and did I mention the monthly bloodletting is in full swing, making me cranky and anemic? Joy to the freakin' world...

PLUS - I keep wanting to get up out of bed and clean my house. Really. Hmmmm, maybe I'm sicker than I thought.