So NOT My Friend
For those who aren't aware of how Facebook works - you get a notice that someone wants to add you as a "friend" and then you get to decide whether or not to accept that person's request. FB does not notify you if your request has been denied, but I think people figure it out pretty quickly. I've only ever rejected a handful. Some are people whom I simply don't know (they thought I was someone else, for example), a few were high school classmates whom I really didn't get along with then and so I'm not going to just be an addition to their friend count now, and one was a girl whom I was friends with in high school but she really screwed over an even better friend and so I hit the 'ignore' button.
And then there was the request I got nearly 2 months ago. The one that, when I saw it sitting in my email box after I got home from work at 2:00 am made me both queasy and angry. The one from my abusive ex-husband, aka The Bastard.
I immediately hit the 'ignore' button and posted this remark to Facebook: "My ex just asked to be my FB friend. Why can't "Oh HELL NO" be a choice for a button?" I got some great responses, my favourite from an old classmate who said "Not if you were the only other person on FB... ". I'm not sure what made him seek me out on FB - maybe it was a comment a left on a mutual friend's comment, maybe he went looking for me. Mind you he didn't bother to send a request to Miss Thing, his DAUGHTER! (She later sent one to him that he accepted. Gee, ain't he a great father sperm donor?) Whatever it was he sent it and I ignored it and thought that was that.
Silly me.
Two weeks later I received another request from him, along with a message with the subject "friend" and the body said nothing other than "hi". This time I was annoyed rather than squicked out. I said 'no' two weeks ago - did you think I didn't mean it? Did you think I didn't know who you were? Did you think I would feel sorry for you, or want to know about your life now? I did mean it, I knew, I don't and I don't. I deleted the message and hit the ignore button. Again.
You see where I'm going with this. Another couple of weeks, another request with another email, this one entitled "bad hair day" with nothing in the body. What the hell is that about??? I again deleted the email, but left the request sitting in my notifications box on FB. If I don't delete it he can't ask me again.
Why he thinks I would want anything to do with him is beyond me. Honestly. Don't give me the "father of your kids" line - he has almost nothing to do with Sparky and any contact he has with Miss Thing is nearly entirely her doing. Sometime last year during one of his rare phone calls he asked me if I ever "thought of him", with his tone clearly indicating what he meant was if I ever recalled our relationship fondly. I was so caught off guard by the question the horrified and emphatic "NO" left my mouth before I could even think about being tactful. I would have thought that answered any lingering questions he might have - I guess not.
I've been tempted a few times to hit the 'ignore' button again just so I don't have to see the '1 friend request' every time I log into FB. But that would allow him to ask me again. I also know I can block him so he can't see me, anything I post or send me another friend request. But somehow that feels like admitting I need to run and hide from him instead of saying "fuck off". I could send him a message, telling him I'm not interested in friending him but that irks me as well. Why do I have to do the work - again? So it lingers in the status quo, which really isn't a very satisfactory solution either.
So what do you guys think? Which road should I travel? Or should I get my uncle to call in some favours with the Boston Irish Mafia and end the situation more, er, permanently? Hey, FBI I'm just kidding with that last one!
6 Witty Remarks:
The bastard always did have an ego a million times the size of his brain. You don't have to contact an uncle to end his meager existence - I do know some interesting people from the North End of Boston who would probably do it just for fun. Actually, taking care of him personally would be rewarding for the Shepster and I. They do say that families should do fun things together.
Not being a FB person, I don't know the best way to deal with that aspect.
I'm all for completely blocking the bastard, that way you don't have to deal with it anymore.
I eventually "unfriended" a guy-friend because the only thing on my sidebar were his T & A pictures of girls he thought were hot, or had been out with or would like to date...never mind the fact he's on his 3rd marriage and has kids from 4 different women...but I digress. :-)
Here is what a classmate posted on her facebook earlier this week: "Jane" is amazed by certain individuals who wait 12 years to apologize for "being a shit" in their facebook message/friend request. It's like they just joined a twelve step recovery group and are going through all the folks they every treated badly one by one....on Facebook.....can we add that to the list of 10 most annoying facebooking?
So yah... block'em and be done with'em. :-)
I've often wished for more options on Facebook. Like the "You were an asshole to me in high school but NOW you want to be my friend?" button.
I regularly ignore requests. Repeatedly. But then I'm kind of a dick.
I'd block him once and for all.
I just bought a new Walther pistol. I'm dying to try it out on something other than paper targets.
I took MM shooting a couple of months ago at the Smith and Wesson range in Springfield. She had a ball; never fired a weapon before. She was at least putting the rounds on the paper somewhere near the target lines.
Of course we wouldn't actually shoot him unless he started something stupid first. A good scare might do him good though.
Select the "No, you're a knob and I'm banning you for life option" :-)
I ignore everything on facebook.... every single request lol
So, if you need to send requests to obtain scores or apps, send one to me. I'll reject it and I won't be cranky it got sent.
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