Apparently I Don't Even Have My Health

Coincidentally the day I smashed my finger I had spent some time that morning at my GPs. I was long overdue for my, ah, "female exam", and decided while I was there I would ask her to do some routine blood tests. I especially wanted my cholesterol checked, after spending 4 weeks with a lot of cardiac patients.

It was no surprise to me when, a week later when I went back to get my results, my cholesterol was high. First of all, my diet is less than spectacular and I don't exercise. Secondly my family history is against me - Momma Mooselet's family is chock-a-block full of heart disease, with both MM and my brother Gabe having high cholesterol levels. Finally back in 2001 I had lost 25 lbs and after a similar situation where I found myself getting a blood test my (new) doctor told me I needed to modify my diet as my cholesterol was high. "But I've just lost 25 pounds!" I protested. Unfortunately I never followed up on it as we moved not long after. So now I'm modifying my diet, cutting down on the chocolate and making sure I eat my oatmeal and special $7 margarine before I get it rechecked in 3 months. I don't expect much of a change from where it is now, and so I'll likely be downing some statins before too long.

But that wasn't the worst of it. Don't panic, it's nothing awful. Everything else is fine... except my kidney function. Apparently I have the kidney function of an old lady, with my levels bordering on chronic renal failure. I was floored. How was this possible - The Hermit's the one with the kidney issues, not me. To cut a long story short, it's a direct result of my high caffeine intake. I was given two choices - keep up my current caffeine levels and increase my H2O intake to 3 litres a day, or cut down - way down - on the caffeine and increase my water only slightly.

I went with door number 2. And I think it's killing me.

Caffeine withdrawal is terrible. It's not just headaches, which by the way no amount of pain killers like Panadol (aka Tylenol) or ibuprofen or even aspirin can touch. It's the muscle aches and fatigue, the mental fog, the general fatigue, the bouts of anxiety that I did not think would be as bad as they are. And I haven't even gone cold turkey. I'm making efforts to increase my water intake by having it at my meals instead of Diet Coke or tea, or at least before I have my usual drink. I've also switched to Caffeine Free Diet Coke at home, so it would seem that I like the tase of carbonated battery acid even if it doesn't have sweet, sweet caffeine.

Now I've always known that the amount of caffeine I consume is not good for me. But having those numbers in front of me, coupled with the knowledge of just what those numbers mean, shocked the hell out of me. So because I quite like my kidneys I will put up the hell that is caffeine withdrawal and come out better for it.

Or at least my kidneys will.