Scary Movie - UPDATED

Last week I watched what had to be one of the scariest movies I have ever seen, and this coming from a woman whose best friend growing up was a slasher flick fan and had cable before I did. I rented this documentary:

I don't know that there is much difference between watching a videotape of fundamentalist Muslims training their children to be jihadists, and watching this documentary of fundamentalist Christians, or Evangelicals, training their children to be soldiers in the army of God. Think I'm exaggerating? Consider this quote from Becky Fischer, the pastor of the Kids on Fire Bible camp featured in the film:

"It's no wonder, with that kind of intense training and discipling, that those young people are ready to kill themselves for the cause of Islam. I wanna see young people who are as committed to the cause of Jesus Christ as the young people are to the cause of Islam. I wanna see them as radically laying down their lives for the Gospel as they are over in Pakistan and Israel and Palestine and all those different places, you know, because we have... excuse me, but we have the truth!"

And before you think that the makers of the film came at this from a very liberal point of view, I would point out that the above quoted Ms. Fischer felt it was an accurate representation of her views and was delighted with the result.

Here's a quick overview of the film via the trailer:

The scenes I found most disturbing were watching these young children - some not a whole lot older than Her Majesty, but most between the ages of 7-10 - sobbing their hearts out after being preached to, sobbing as if they'd been told they were the worst children in the world. As if someone had just died. What kind of people do that to small children? What sort of God wants you to treat children like that? If that's your God I don't want any part of it.

It is the ultimate hypocrisy to decry this sort of treatment for the children of Islam and yet perpetuate the same treatment for Christian children in the name of "truth". When children of any religion are taught to be martyrs, it chills my blood:

The first amendment of the US Constitution reads, in part: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion..." The Founding Fathers may have had Christian leanings - most were of various Christian denominations - but a few of the more prominent ones, such as George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin were very much against organized churches. Modern Evangelicals say they want to "take back America for Christ" because the United States was founded as a Christian nation, or some variation of thereof. I say Christ never had it in the first place and the claim that the US is a Christian nation is bullsh*t. The Treaty of Tripoli, ratified in 1797, states, in part, that "The government of the United States of America is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion..." A nation and its people can be moral without being Christian, which is what I believe the Founding Fathers were attempting to do. Morality, not necessarily Christianity.

Fundamentalism of any kind is wrong, it is warped. I know, like the fundamentalist Islamic faith I've drawn parallels to, the sorts of people depicted in this movie represent a minority. But they are a vocal minority. And when you have a vocal minority facing an apathetic majority, the vocal minority gets to set the rules. Do you want to live under their rules, where creationism explains everything and kids aren't allowed to tell stories or read stories that don't glorify God? Where 5 year olds feel they need to be "saved"? Where President George W. Bush is the best thing since sliced bread? To me, that is scarier than any horror film ever made.

UPDATE - My brother Gabe turned his comment into a separate post at his blog - go check it out!

Back to School - UPDATED

Across Queensland today, parents like myself are celebrating the return of their offspring to school. I still have Clive and Her Majesty at home, but the loss of 2 for 9 hours a day is a huge deal. And across Brisbane, commuters are gritting their teeth as traffic slows to the speed of snail sex as parents slap the 'bus driver' hat back on to get aforementioned offspring to school. There are few dedicated school buses and with all schools starting around the 9am mark, the morning commute can be something of a nightmare.

With both Miss Thing and Sparky at the same school this year, I have one less school run to make. I drive them 5 minutes to the next suburb (often still in my pyjamas) where they catch a public transport bus to the inner city suburb of Kelvin Grove. Because traffic is so bad and unpredictable, they need to get the 7:15 bus to have a hope of getting to the campus on time. This also factors in the 10 minute walk from the main road up to the school plus a few minutes to catch their breath. If they wait and get the next bus 10 minutes later, the chances are high they won't make it. Mind you, this is a trip that I can make in under 25 minutes when there is no traffic.

I have been attempting to drive the point home with Sparky that with his going off to high school this year, he needs to be more focused in the mornings to get ready on time. I'd have better luck telling the sun not to set. If this morning was any indication of how our year is going to be, I foresee a lot of teeth gnashing. I woke him up shortly after 6am before stumbling out to the kitchen to make a cup of tea and clear my head. He emerged from his room dressed - a good sign - and collapsed into a kitchen chair. I don't have pictures yet as he declared he looked "like a complete steb". I have no idea what, exactly, a "steb" is but it didn't sound good so I didn't push the issue. It was now 6:20am, leaving him 35 minutes to eat breakfast, brush his teeth and pack his bag including lunch as he insisted last night he wanted to do that in the morning. I left him with the directive to eat breakfast as I went to check my emails.

You see my mistake, of course. I left him alone. Miss Thing continued to get ready and I assumed - another mistake - that Sparky was as well. I came back into the kitchen at 6:40 to find the last 20 minutes had been spent... putting notebooks in his backpack while watching television. I got a little cranky, I admit. I know he's probably a bit nervous, and I know he's a slow starter in the mornings. I know he's had a whole summer of waking up whenever he felt like it. I know I should've been more patient. But for the love of chocolate hadn't I spent all last week talking about the need to stay focused and get ready? Didn't I hear "I know, Mom!" after each speech, delivered in that tone of voice that only a teenager can pull of? But when he put bread in the toaster at 6:52 to finally make breakfast I snapped. So he left for his first day of high school with no breakfast and more than a little sulky.

I felt a little guilty about it, but now the more I think about it the less guilt I feel. I firmly believe that one of my jobs as a parent is to teach responsibility, not protect them from it, and if my son is going to fart around all morning after being told multiple times that being late was not an option - there's more to getting to school now than a 5 minute car ride and a 2 minute walk to the classroom - then he's going to have to live with the consequences, like being hungry. Miss Thing and I helped him this morning by packing his lunch, and I will not leave him to his own devices for so long. I'll have to put him with him stomping around as he insists, loudly and rudely, that he knows what he supposed to be doing even as he's not doing it.


But still... they're GONE! Woot woot!



UPDATE: I picked Sparky up from the bus and apparently his first day "rocked". So I guess he got over this morning pretty quickly. He saw some people he knew from his last school, his school before that and his footy club. US readers may think this unusual but public high schools here, especially in Brisbane, can receive students from multiple primary schools, and not always the local ones. I think Kelvin Grove has 2 dozen feeder schools. At any rate he only had two classes today but really likes his English teacher, is looking forward to the rest of his classes and is oddly disappointed that he doesn't have to have either the chicken pox or hepatitis B vaccinations.

Miss Thing only had to be at school today until noon, and then only because she was a Senior Buddy. I made her stay in the general vicinity until 3pm in order to help Sparky get used to taking the bus, however, and will do the same tomorrow when her classes end at 1pm. Such a horrid mother, I know. She spent the afternoon trying unsuccessfully to wheedle money out of me before meeting her brother and then going to work.

Pictures Are Ready

I finally finished the photos from our trip this morning. If you're family or a close friend, you may have already received your invite to the album. Or you can view the slideshow right now:

Or you can skip that and visit the album directly here. Or you can ignore the whole thing and move on to something else. Your choice and the beautiful thing is I'll never know!

Photo Trouble

I spent quite a bit of time editing photos - 33 of 'em - to be uploaded, only to have Webshots upload the first three and eat the rest.

:::thud, thud, thud::: Gee, banging my head against the wood of my desk isn't as painful as an hour's worth of work sucked into a black hole of cyberspace.

Since this would be my 7th extreme late night if I stay up to do them all, I may just do a few more and finish the rest tomorrow. You can grab a sneak peak over in the sidebar if you're so inclined or wait until I finish the lot.

:::thud, thud, thud::: Nope, still not as painful.

Caught Up

Someone start up the marching band, because I'm finally caught up! My email inbox is empty, I've read all my blogs (although not commented) and I'm about to upload the pics from our holiday.

What am I supposed to do with myself now? How about I show you the cover of my new rock album:

It's the latest meme making the rounds, and it's pretty cool . Here's how it works:

Step 1: Visit a random Wikipedia page and the title of the entry becomes the name of your band. Mine, Ukwa, is the name of a state in India. This works far better for me than coming up with my porn star name. Going off the old method of the name of your first pet and the name of the street where you grew up, my porn star name is Garfield Malta. You can see why I'm better suited to the rock band genre.

Step 2: Visit the random quotes page from The Quotations Page and find the last quote on the page. The last four words of the quote becomes the name of your album. My full quote was from Edmund Burke, an Irish statesman and philosopher who apparently said, among other things, "Our patience will achieve more than our force". Hence the name of my awesome band's debut album, More Than Our Force.

Step 3: Finally, visit a random Flickr page and choose the third image for your cover art. I completely forgot to write down where my photo came from, so if you recognize it please give me a heads up so I can give credit where it is due.

Step 4: Play along and tell me what you came up with!

I'm pretty sure Ukwa will be a political band along the lines of U2 and Midnight Oil but heavily influenced by the heavy metal and alternative music genres. Thanks yellojkt and his band, New Jersey Route 164, for putting me onto this and getting me back into the blogging groove.

Saturday Skinfest

God, please speed up time and make it be Tuesday already. I need to get the older kids back to school before they completely drive me over the edge. I need to have my house free of children who think it's perfectly acceptable to do whatever they please all day and then get cranky with me when I inform them I need to use my computer after 10pm. "But I only just got on," they whine. Yes you only just got on, after watching TV for several hours and bouncing back and forth between PS2, the computer, your iPod or any combination of the above - shut up and get the hell of the computer.

I'll be better after Tuesday, I know I will.

So under the guise of "better late than never", here is this week's beefcake/cheesecake:

Several shirtless Broncos stand about waiting for their turn to perhaps slap on some sunscreen and get a tan. I wonder if they're contractually obligated to train shirtless?

Is there anything finer in this universe than Darren Lockyer's ass? It's damn near perfection! His well-muscled legs come a close second, but that backside has me singing booty songs.

Timana Tahu shows off his Baywatch running skills as well as his tribal trapezius tatts. Say that 5 times fast!

I have no idea who Christina Milian is - a singer of some sort - but she's kinda cute and has a smokin' hot bod, so here you go:


More skin next week!

Photo Friday

Sure the weather was mainly overcast with rain periods, but I haven't lived in the Skin Cancer Capital of the World for over 5 years for nothing. I put on sunscreen while on vacation, I swear on a stack of chocolate bars (which mean a lot more to me than a certain book you usually swear on), but this is what I got for my trouble:

Yes it was pretty painful, although slathering it with Vitamin E cream did a lot for it. I like how it brings out the horrible scarring on my knee, and that's not even the one that got impaled on rocks when I was 8-ish and fell off my bike.

Getting Ready

OK, so I lied. I was really wiped out when I got home from work last night - my arms were sore from picking up boxes of juice and museli bars - and so I didn't do a post. Take my favourite child! It changes from moment to moment so you may as well take them all. Hmmmm, I don't see the downside of this situation.

It's good to be home and sleep in my own bed. Not that the bed in the camper trailer is uncomfortable, and I had my own pillows, but the constant light across the road was a bother. Plus we didn't have enough stakes and rope to tie down all the window flaps, so the wind caused a lot of flapping during the nights. We actually got back to Brisbane on Friday, but I continued my technology holiday until yesterday. Truth be told I didn't have a hope of getting near the computer for the first couple of days, what with Sparky suffering DTs from withdrawal.

I'm dying to tell you all about it, but I'm afraid it's going to have to wait a bit longer. School starts next week - can I get an 'amen' and a 'hallelujah' for good measure - and I've done exactly nothing to get ready. Both Miss Thing and Sparky need new uniforms, Sparky especially as he starts at the new school. I've done a quick cost run down and while I love the idea of uniforms it's really not all that much cheaper. I'm not even getting them a full week supply, and the cost doesn't include shoes for Sparky. Plus their "resource scheme" fees - who said public school was free? - plus their stationary, new socks, bus cards... How anyone can afford private school is beyond me.

So were off soon to start the madness and my post about our trip will, again, need to wait. It will be worth it, however, next week when I have a near empty house again. Nothing says happy mommy like back to school.

I'm Back!

Back from vacation and feeling refreshed. Charred due to the crappy sunscreen I bought, but refreshed. As soon as I get through the 233 emails I have and tend to the children, I'll do a longer post. No later than tonight, perhaps very late as I just got asked to work, but I will! I swear it on the life of my most favourite child.

It's good to be home!

Public Apology

I just want to say to nearly everyone on my blogroll that I am really, really sorry if I haven't come by in... well, forever. I see you all in my feed reader and all I can do is read the first sentence or two of your recent entries and wish I had 10 minutes to go and read. Even as I type Her Majesty is behind me complaining loudly that it will take her "hours" to clean up the mess she made earlier today with her flashcards and letter magnets. "No one will help me! Do I have to do it all alone?" Um, yes... I still have to put groceries away. Miss Thing is at work, Sparky is nowhere to be found and Clive is howling in his cot.

Calgon, take me away!!!!! Hurry up, because now Her Majesty is sobbing that "it's not fair" and "are you happy now Mumma?".

So everyone, please know I haven't forgotten about you. I miss you and your blogs, and I swear I'll be back sooner rather than later.

Drying Out

It's a lovely, if muggy, sunny day in Brisbane today. You may be thinking, "Well it's summer, of course it's sunny!" but this is only the second sunny day since Christmas, the first being Saturday. We finally got some decent rain last week, but in some places it was too much of a good thing. I phoned the caravan park where we are booked in to stay starting this Saturday to see if they were underwater as they are only 500 metres from the flooding Tweed River and thank goodness they're dry. I'd hate to get there and find the place flooded.

Instead of doing a huge driving holiday with the camper trailer, this time we're driving 3-4 hours down past the Gold Coast and just into New South Wales to stay at Kingscliff for 6 nights. Again, Miss Thing will be staying behind but since we're only gone a short period of time and she's working most of the time I'm not as worried. Although I did notice her eyes light up when she noticed the bottle of Kaluha on the shelf - perhaps I'll take it with me, to be safe.

I am a bit worried about how the Hermit and Sparky will take being in one spot the entire time. Neither one of them particularly love the beach, and they don't fish. I suspect they'll spend a lot of time watching DVDs. I'm off to the library this week to restock Her Majesty's book supply as well as my own. I love the fact I can check magazines out - I feel a sense of accomplishment when I finish a magazine as my reading time is severely limited these days.

Here's to hoping the place will continue to dry out until next weekend - then it can rain for the rest of the summer for all I care. My holiday will be finished!

Saturday Skinfest

I'm trying to get this done with Clive all over me like white on rice. He's also trying to get to the keyboard. I'd like him to go and pester someone else, but until 2 minutes ago it was just myself and Her Majesty awake and here. The Hermit and Sparky were still asleep and Miss Thing is at work. But now that Sparky is up, let's see if Clive will go and want to play PlayStation with him... drat. No go. So if, like Jeff, you got here and saw a completely blank post entitled "Sa", well now you know why.

Let's get the Saturday Skinfest over with then. I'll have to come back and drool later:

This feels kinda funny, like when we climbed the rope in gym class. Manly has some odd training techniques.

Jonathan Thurston has gone for the hairless look and I'm not sure I like it. He's still goofy looking from the neck up, however. No amount of waxing will change that no matter what cause he's naked for.

If I saw this group of players on the beach, I'm pretty sure I'd soon be sitting in mud and not sand from the drool that would pour from my mouth. A bunch of tossers, but oh-so-fine to look at.

I'll give you a hint of the identity of last week's bikini clad star. Go back and have a looksie and see if you're desperate enough to figure it out. As for this week, well remember when Britney Spears was a cute pop tartlet who was merely annoying and not batshit insane? No? Think hard and see if this jars your memory:


More skin next week!

Photo Friday

From the "I'll get around to posting them" picture files of our trip back in September, I bring you the first Photo Friday of 2008:

That's Her Majesty checking out her find in Rubyvale, where we went gem hunting, or fossicking as it's known, for sapphires. Since we're still in the same house, you can safely assume we didn't strike it rich. We did, however, have a good time pretending.

The Mom Song

I was pointed in the direction of this YouTube clip by my friend, neighbour and fellow mother Patsy. If you have a hard time making out the lyrics, you can go to the actual YouTube page to read along. I'm fairly certain I've said 98% of these phrases:

New Years List of Goals

I think that if I use a form of psychological trickery - calling them "goals" instead of "resolutions" I might be more tempted to stick to them.

Yeah, I doubt it too. But hope springs eternal, so here we go:

1) At Least You Have Your Health: But it could be better. It's more than losing weight and getting back into shape. Sure that's a huge part of it, but I'd like to feel better all around. My hips ache, my back hurts and I can't walk up my steep-but-not-Mt. Everest driveway without feeling like I need an oxygen tank. These extra kilos I'm lugging around are not helping. It's not all about size, although I was horrified the other day when I had to buy size 18 pants. I don't care if Aussie sizes are larger or not, it was a size 18!!! Gah! In addition, I know that if I feel better physically, I'll feel better mentally. I also have a responsibility to set a good example for my kids. So the goal is to get rid of these extra 14 kgs/30 lbs and get into better physical condition by the start of spring (September 1st). I have do this before, so I know it's quite do-able. I also know I've failed miserably at this before, which is why I find myself pulling on extra large tops.

2) The Kitchen is My Friend: It's no secret to anyone who knows me in the slightest that I don't like to cook. I'm not very imaginative when it comes to making meals, so we tend to have the same dishes over and over and over... Fortunately my family doesn't grumble too much, but I get bored. This makes me dislike cooking and meal planning even more. So this year I'd like to break out the cookbooks - nearly all of which run along a 'cooking for idiots' theme - and try new things.

3) Patience is Not a Medical Term: I really need to be more patient with my family. I know I have some, as if I didn't I'd have put the lot of them up for adoption and left the Hermit for the pool boy, but I could do better. I also have very little patience for myself - probably less than I do for nearly everyone else. I'm not looking for sainthood here, just less Crazy Lady shouting.

4) Time is on My Side: Ok, it's not but I need to get it to be. I can make better use of my time to get things done, be it day-to-day chores or blogging, budgeting or exercising, I don't always use the time I have wisely. I don't want to schedule every freakin' minute, and I believe in the value of occasionally lying on the bed and simply watching the ceiling fan, but too often I leave things undone because "I don't have time". That needs to change.

And that's it. I'm not going overboard, because the more you make the more likely you are to fail. I'd like to not do that.

Did you make any resolutions set any goals this year? Share if you're so inclined.

My Turn

Finally a chance at the computer. Her Majesty is happily playing, Clive not-so-happily but then again that's nothing new. Sparky and Miss Thing are still abed, so I get to sit and plow through my emails and do a blog post! Huzzah!

Seriously, can't they go back to school already? I can't believe I have to wait until the end of January.

I got home from work at quarter past midnight last night and Miss Thing was still up and online. At least she cleaned the kitchen like I asked, and did I decent job of it too. I wonder if it was to make up for the heated discussion we had on the way home from the shopping centre about the upcoming school year and what is expected of her in the way of studying. She is determined to do things "her way". I pointed out that we've been letting her do things "her way" for the past 2 years and it hasn't worked out very well. Her final grades did rise slightly - she managed to pull of passing grades in all but one class - but the general consensus among her teachers was that while they were pleased with the increase in her efforts, she needed to continue to do more and they were confident she could do so. Miss Thing insists she's going "nerd style" for her final year and will prove to us all that she can do well without the benefit of study schedules and the like. I hope she can - the Hermit and I have both commented how her determination to have her own way can be a good thing as well as a method for causing gray hair in her parents - and will gladly swallow my words if she pulls it off.

Happy 2008

Just thought I'd wish everyone a Happy New Year. For those of you still mired in 2007, you can rest assured this side of the world has safely made in into 2008.

I was going to post a list of goals - I've sworn of resolutions - but I'm just a wee bit unfocused at the moment. Too many Russian Eggnogs (that'd be eggnog with Kahlua and vodka) I'm afraid. Is this what Blogger means by the Blogger Buzz? No? Too bad - it's much more fun.

Anyhow, I'm off to finish an email and then crash into bed. I'll post the goals tomorrow, as Her Majesty and Clive will have no respect for Mommy's possible fuzzy-headedness in the AM.

Welcome 2008!!!!