Sock Monkey - Corruptor of Youth?
Last night I read the story Sock Monkey Boogie-Woogie to Her Majesty and Clive. If you aren't familiar with sock monkeys, then you are deprived. Get thee to your nearest search engine to investigate. Clive is fortunate enough to own his very own Sock Monkey from Mother of Hermit.
In Sock Monkey Boogie-Woogie, Sock Monkey, now a famous actor, needs a partner for the Big Celebrity Dance. His friends, Blue Pig, Froggie and Miss Bunn are all going out of town - what's a lonely monkey to do? Sock Monkey holds auditions but none of the other toys are suitable. After receiving some gifts from his out-of-town friends, Sock Monkey gets an idea and makes himself a partner!
A fellow monkey partner.
A male monkey partner:
Sock Monkey and his new fairy cake-bakin' partner, Sock Buddy, practice a variety of dance movies before heading off to the Big Celebrity Dance and get down and funky on the dance floor in their spiffy disco suits. When Sock Monkey's friends return they are introduced to his new "partner" Sock Buddy, who is quickly accepted into the group. No doubt helped by his fairy cakes:
Matching disco suits, matching aprons, photos on the wall... yup, Sock Monkey is definately embracing an "alternative lifestyle". Especially when I discovered that in another book, Sock Monkey Rides Again, the plot revolves, in part, around Sock Monkey's unwillingness to pucker up to his female co-star. To quote Marge Simpson, Sock Monkey "prefers the company of men".
I wonder if Sock Monkey Boogie Woogie is on Sarah Palin's banned-book list? Doesn't seem to be. Perhaps I should shoot her an email...
No, I wouldn't do that. I really don't give two shits who Sock Monkey dances with. Or who Albus Dumbledore shares his wand with. Or who any man or woman, real or fictional, chooses to spend their life with. Adam and Steve want to get married? Go for it, dudes - marriage is tough and if you crazy kids think you've got what it takes then what the hell do I care? Are you a good person? Or do you beat your kids, get drunk all the time, mooch off hard working taxpayers, strangle puppies, commit insurance fraud or one of a myriad of other social ills that will hurt people? Because I will take an entire neighbourhood of fairy cake-bakin' Sock Buddies over a neighbourhood of hetrosexual assholes any day of the week... and twice on Sunday.
6 Witty Remarks:
Ok, so like I read all your post but all I could hear in my head was Marge Simpson saying "he prefers the company of men".
Sorry, I'm sure there was a moral there but let's face it, I'm as liberal as they get..... and anyway....
Sock monkey, in Australia means boys that you know what into a sock, so the title had me cacking before I started reading.... and then it was a kids story which kinda freaked me out lol.
Ok, I'll stop and go to bed. Too much sock corruption can ruin your sleep I hear. I'll quit now, whilst I'm behind LMAO!
Let me guess - Her Majesty and Clive loved the story! Actually, it's a pretty good story and, no offense, how can a sock monkey be gay or hetero? It's a damn sock.
I'm sure that Sarah would be in all in favor of banning the story but there are many of us who are unsure if she can actually read.
I am with you Moose - who really cares about anyone else's sexuality.
Miss WTF - First off, sock monkey means what here??? That's just wrong, wrong WRONG!!! I've heard of spanking the monkey, but not your term. Eewwwww... And the Marge Simpson line isn't complete without clueless Homer following with "Who doesn't?"
MM - they do love the story and are completely oblivious to the whole thing, which is how it should be. To be honest I've read the story many times and never picked up on it before last night. As you say, it's a damn sock. Perhaps it's in his nature to match? :-)
I hear argyles are as queer as a $3.00 bill.
So sweet. But when he is bad, the sock monkey must be spanked.
I never knew what Sock Monkey meant in Australia. That's just sick. I am very sheltered.... aaah, thank goodness!
Socky Monkey, the children's story book character not that other disgusting (though I guess tidy!) meaning, must be up there with Noddy and Big Ears plus Fat Cat and Friends, all the naughty, naughty boys!
Reading to kids before bed... takes me back... actually that was always Mr Mumfies job... I was over them by bed time!
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