More Random Work Thoughts
Dear Large Grocery Store That Employs Me: Before you decide to jack up the price of your generic 1 kilo jasmine rice by a whopping 35%, you really ought to make sure the price is less than other name brand products on the shelf. It's one thing when I go to other grocery stores to buy certain products because they're cheaper than your generic brand, even with my staff discount, but when it happens in your own shop? D'uh!!!!
But while I'm talking to you, let me tell you that the choice of music the last week and a half has been inspired. I mean that sincerely - I know it can be hard to tell sometimes. But the run of 80s tunes combined with the classic 50s like Chantilly Lace and Monster Mash has been awesome! And if you never play Mike and the Mechanics again it will be too soon.
One of the songs on the current musical selection is Bon Jovi's I'll Be There For You. And in listening to the lyrics one wonders how Jon Bon Jovi ever got laid, never mind had a girlfriend. It starts out as a song about a guy who fucked up, is sorry and doesn't want his girlfriend to leave his pathetic ass. I'm with him so far, until after the guitar solo:
I wasn't there when you were down
I didn't mean to miss your birthday, baby
I wish I'd seen you blow those candles out
Let me get this straight. He's never around - because one assumes if you're not there for the highs and lows you've also missed everything in between - misses important events like birthdays and yet claims "I'll be there for you"? Here's something you can be here for - my boot in your ass! This is definitely one of those songs you have to be young and naive to fall for.
Yes, I really did think about that at work. Do you think I think about nuclear physics while I'm straightening cans of mushrooms?
I have two night captains - one full time and one part time - and it's normal of each of them to have their own style. But why does it always seem whenever the part time guy is on that we have so many more cages to empty? I'm not making this up. My aisle had 8 or 9 cages the other night and with two of us working a combined 7 hours we barely got it done. Never fails.
If you're wearing a pair of g-string panties, why would you want a pantyliner? Is there even enough panty to line? I'm tempted to buy a package of g-string pantyliners and see how it's supposed to work, because I just can't work it out.
Dear Cadbury: I like your chocolate, but if you don't start making the packaging of your "share packs" or bags a little stronger so they don't rip apart when I hang them up I will never buy a bag of Freddo Frogs for the kids. Ever.
What if God was one of us?
Dear Pack of Teenaged Girls: Here's a tip. Coming to the grocery store 30 minutes before closing in your pajamas and then screaming to each other at the top of your lungs across the store does not endear you to anyone. There are far better ways to call attention to yourselves that doesn't make you look like an escapee from the day care down the road. There were eight of you and I don't think you had the combined intelligence of a three-toed sloth.
3 Witty Remarks:
What the heck are you emptying cages for - and what exactly is in those cages? Reading it I pictured you gently lifting baby crocodiles out of a cage and then running them through the hamburger machine.
You gotta love a job that gives you plenty of time to think.
I should clarify. My bad. The "cage" is a rolling metal crate or sorts that the merchandise arrives from the warehouse in. It's roughly 6 feet high and 2 feet wide and deep. We unload the stuff directly from the cages onto the shelves. Big boxes of things like cereal, toilet paper and the like come on pallets, which aren't brought out until after the store is closed. Cages can be brought out while the store is still open as it doesn't take up a lot of room.
Teenage girls are all so "look at me". Yick. How annoying.
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