Saturday Skinfest

The Bitterly Disappointed Fan edition.

I'm am so angry with the Brisbane Broncos I could just spit. Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory in the dying minutes of a game is something I thought only the New England Patriots could do, but nooooooo. Henceforth I am decreeing all Broncos players banned from the Skinfest until they redeem themselves.

Yeah, I'm a little too emotionally invested. What's your point???

I wrote that last night (Friday) after the ultimate choke (could give the Red Sox some tips) from the Broncos and you know, I'm still gutted. Like a fish about to be served up with some nice hot chips. I feel like the field that the dog is crapping on while the Broncos just stand and watch.

No Broncos for you!!!!

I need something soft and cute, yet manly. I know! Let's combine shirtless Melbourne Storm player Brett White and his newborn baby! Awwwwww:

OK, feeling just a little bitter better now. I just won't think about it. Instead I can turn my mind to the drool-worthy shoulders and abs of Matt Rua, also from the Storm:

Guys, remember that ZZ Top song 'Legs'? Go on, sing a few bars. Now have a look here and tell me if this cheergirl qualifies:

More skin, and hopefully a better mood, next week.

MyPicks

In a blatant play on the wording of MySpace, I bring you my NRL tips. Tipping is the Australian word for betting, which is perfectly legal here and highly encouraged. Seriously you can bet on anything, from sports the world over to who will win the next election (both here and in the US) to what will happen in the TV ratings.

I'm enrolled in several online NRL tipping competitions, none of which involve actual money leaving my pocket so don't think I'm becoming some kind of problem gambler. The one I watch most closely is the one at the Tween's football club, where last week I was the overall winner (Hurrah!) and more importantly beat Miss WTF for the second week running.

So in an attempt to share even more useless facets of my life with you, I'm bringing you my weekly NRL tips. I will endeavour to keep them short and sweet, and only ask if you win any cash off of my picks, send me a percentage. Feel free to disagree with me in the comments.

US readers, which comprise about 40% of my hits, don't be put off - play along! You may not know a blessed thing about the teams, but instead choose on random things like uniforms, studly Skinfest features (check the links ladies!)or cute mascots. Most weeks you've got as good of a chance as the rest of the "experts".

Brisbane Broncos v Penrith Panthers: I've tipped my Broncos to win on this one, based on the return of the Shirtless Wonder Darren Lockyer and their desperation to win a game after dropping their first two cold. That, and I think Panther Craig Gower is a wanker. But I'm not confident, and think it'll be a close game. Don't prove me wrong Broncos!

Parramatta Eels v Wests Tigers: Miss WTF will be shocked, but I've picked the Tigers against bookies odds. They'll be looking to make up for their dreadful performance last week, while the Eels are still trying to find their feet. And Eels player/former porn star look-a-like Nathan Hindmarsh is still out on injury.

St. George-Illawarra Dragons v Nth Queensland Cowboys: An easy pick - Cowboys. Johnathon Thurston and Matty Bowen are on fire, while the Dragons have struggled to pull it together. Go the Cowboys!

Cronulla Sharks v South Sydney Rabbitohs: Who would've thought that the perinneal cellar-dwellers the Bunnies would be sitting near the top of the table? Guess that's what happens when Russell Crowe buys your team. And since I hate, hate, HATE Sharks coach Ricky Stuart, I pick the Bunnies to go all Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog on the Sharks ass.

Melbourne Storm v New Zealand Warriors: This was a toughie. In the Storms favour we have a very adaptable team and hottie Billy Slater. On the other hand we have a tough-as-nails Kiwis lead by the studly Steve Price. Since they play in Melbourne (Yanks, say it "mel-burn") I pick the home side in a hard hitting, blood spilling match.

Canterbury Bulldogs v Gold Coast Titans: The Dirty Dogs are a team I ordinarily despise as I count Willie Mason as a boofheaded moron. But they were horribly embarrassed last week by Penrith and will be out to redeem themselves. Titans just don't have it together enough to win this one.

Sydney Roosters v Manly Sea Eagles: Oh how the mighty have fallen. The Roosters used to be feared, now they are merely headless chooks. What fun to see them smashed, as will happen again this week. Mwahahahahahahaha!!!!

Canberra Raiders v Newcastle Knights: It pains me to tip the Knights as Andrew Johns gets under my skin like no other. He's one of those people you love to hate, like Payton Manning. But he's talented and has been named to play after his concussion two weeks ago, and Canberra, whilst not a bad as the bookies will have you believe, won't be able to stop him. Dammit.

Photo Friday

Long time readers may remember how I chose to celebrate the Hermit's birthday in 2006. While the Hermit was less than impressed, this is one of my favourite pics from our weekend escape:

Trust me, she loved it.

It Has to Be Said *UPDATED*

I might get some people mad at me with this post, but I've just got to say it.

Bindi Irwin? Really not all that attractive, or even cute:

Go ahead, call me names. I know she's some kind of sacred cow, especially now that her father is dead. I give her full credit - she is an amazing little girl who obviously has inherited her father's talent with animals and for showmanship (or showkidship?). She's smart and well spoken and seems to have a sensible head on her tiny shoulders.

But she's still odd looking. I can't help it. Maybe she'll grow into her features as she gets older and will be a stunner. Not that the crocs will care, but it could happen. Maybe if she wore a colour other than khaki, or had a different hair style.

Tell me what you think - cutie-patootie or a little odd? Do I speak the uncomfortable truth or am I an insensitive bitch?

**UPDATE** Just a few more pics of Bindi Sue (named after a croc and a dog, btw) so you don't think I grabbed the worst picture I could find:

Hippie Trippie Quizes Man...

Quizes are often seen as a total cop out to actual blogging. So what? They can be fun, too. So let's view this as a fun cop out. I'm just too worn out to post a "real" entry, yet I feel that if I don't post not only will Miss WTF be mad at me but I will be in danger of not posting for a few days. So here are four random quizzes pulled from the Mooselet archives (aka Microsoft Word):

Your Personality Is Like Acid

A bit wacky, you're very difficult to predict. One moment you're in your own little happy universe... And the next, you're on a bad trip to your own personal hell!

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

Oh wow... look at the pretty colours... pretty colo... ACK!!!! A cockroach!!! Get it off me, getifoffMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Sorry...

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are compassionate, caring, and soothing. You like other people to depend on you... In fact, you don't feel right unless you are helping someone out. Underneath it all, you feel the burden of everyone's problems. Without your guidance, you fear that many people's worlds would fall apart. You like to feel in charge, even if it brings you a lot of stress.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

Explains a lot, doesn't it?

Your Ex is Histrionic

Your ex is hot and cold - a total drama queen or king. Your ex can't survive without tons of dramatics, attention, and approval. People with histrionic personality disorder are inappropriately seductive, prone to rapid mood swings, and rash decision makers. Sound at all familiar?

What's Wrong With Your Ex?

My ex is more than histrionic. My ex is a rat Bastard. There is not a quiz designed to document what is wrong with my ex. I'll tell you about it someday.

You Are a Realist

You don't see the glass as half empty or half full. You see what's exactly in the glass. You never try to make a bad situation seem better than it is... But you also never sabotage any good things you have going on. You are brutally honest in your assessments of situations - and this always seems to help you cope.

Are You An Optimist or Pessimist?

Which is why despite it all, I'm going to be just fine. I've gotten this far, haven't I?

Match Report Monday

I admit I get a little anal about details sometimes, and I take full responsibility for passing this annoying trait on to the Tween. However, this is my blog and I can be pedantic if I want to. Rather than rewrite Miss WTF's totally awesome reports, I'm just going to put my own corrections and/or comments in italics. If you find this too annoying and just wish me to shut up already, please tell me. I'll hate you and I'll pout and sulk and mutter under my breath about how I'm just not appreciated, but I'll stop.

Grading Game 2, Division 1
Date: 25 March 2007
Where: unnamed park, 10th Avenue Brighton
Who: Wests Panthers v Brighton Roosters
Score: We had to wait, so I'm going to make you wait.... Ok, you've waited long enough... are you ready...
Wests Panthers 20 DEFEAT Brighton Roosters 14

Yep, you heard it right folks, we were victorious. I'll start at the beginning....

(Cue the Charlie's Angles theme music please... - Mooselet)

Once upon a time, there were a group of lads who were thrown together to become a football team. They came from all walks of life with a common goal. To win! Their endeavours started poorly, with a massive flogging in the trial game, then another flogging in the first grading game. However, they trained hard and never let it get to them (well, almost never!). Finally, on March 25th 2007, all their hopes and dreams were realised. They beat a premier division team, a team that some of the boys had played before, but had never seen victory against. This was their day.

They also had the cutest and perkiest supporters EVER!

Ok, enough prose, let's get to the nitty-gritty...

The boys were brilliant on the weekend. Absolutely brilliant!! It was stinking hot and the ground looked like it hadn't seen water in about 10 years. (Expect more of this as Level 5 restrictions take hold and we change to concrete playing fields - Mooselet) Play started and looked pretty even for the first few minutes, then Harry got the ball and flew round the outside of the defenders, running half the length of the field to score under the posts. Woo-freaking-hoo!! We're leading!! WE SCORED! YAHOO!! (Meanwhile I was explaining to a panicked Mumfies why it was okay for Harry to run closer to the posts before putting the ball down as we now must kick the conversion from where we score. Who's been watching this game longer, the Yank or the Aussie born Mumfies whose husband is a coach? :-) - Mooselet)

I think we missed the conversion on that one so we were up 4 nil. (No we hit that conversion... see above comments to Mumfies - Mooselet) Brighton came straight back at us and fought their way over the line to score. Missed the conversion so we're all tied at 4 all. (Nope, up 6-4. Get it straight woman! Love, Mooselet) Then the forwards did some magic work, they got us well up field and Harry grabbed the ball and went right around them again to score in the corner. Yeehaa! Ok, let's face it... I'm not up on the conversions (no kidding - Mooselet) and who kicked them but someone must have kicked a conversion for us (I think it was Michael) and we were all locked up at 10 all at the break after Brighton went over the line to be held up by our boys. Or so the ref called, until he got a call from the Brighton touch judge and then he awarded the try. A little sus, but ultimately, it didn't matter. (And thank goodness because the Tween was going on and on about it after the game - Mooselet)

Half time, and a miracle occurred. The boys were actually quiet and LISTENED to what Adrian had to say. Unbelievable! I'm not saying that they remembered it, but they listened and sat quietly. Normally they're arguing amongst themselves, so it really was a miracle. They were fired up and traditionally they play a better second half than first half. This was no different! They came out firing.

The forwards were on fire, barging up the field carrying players on their backs. The boys were spreading the ball out to the centres and the wings (OK, it only went to the wingers twice... they were surprised though and had to stop picking their noses for a while to run the ball). They were carving them up and only desperate defence held us out. The boys were tackling brilliantly. It looked like Brighton were going to run away with a couple of tries but the boys never gave up and chased them down to tackle them before the line. Top effort guys!

We scored again early in the second half. Jake gets the ball and in a Benji Marshall special, drifts across the field and finds Sean flying through on the wing. Whammo! The ball hits him on the chest and he gets around the last defender to score the try and we're up 14 - 10. Brighton then went in and it was all tied up again. With 5 minutes to go we were pretty happy to be sitting on the sidelines, knowing that we at least had been competitive and that the boys were playing well. A draw would have done us, if only the boys could hold them out. Then Michael has a great run from first receiver and scores out wide. Sean slotted the conversion from 10m (great kick Sean) in from the sideline and we were up 20 points to 14. People started getting nervous. There was still 5 minutes to go....can they hold on to this lead? (I started looking for a timekeeper to bribe - Mooselet)

You betcha. They defended like their lives depended on it and when Brighton coughed up the ball, it was all over red rover. We were winners! When the ref blew the whistle the sidelines erupted (well, our sidelines erupted... theirs sobbed because this was their third straight loss.... yeah, well welcome to our world!), and the boys went crazy. (And sang the team song, which really needs some more practice - Mooselet) It was great to see and really well deserved. The manager of the other team congratulated the boys on such a good game and the spirit in which it was played. I totally agree. (Seconded - Mooselet)

I'm not going to single any boys out for this report. You all dug in and you all played really well fellas. You played like a team and we're all really proud of the effort you put in. Great job boys!

Daddy's Girl

Sometimes, a girl has just got to show appreciation for her Daddy. And to tell all the other preschoolers that her daddy is better than theirs.

Saturday Skinfest

The Sympathy Edition.

In this rare quiet moment today - Saturdays have just gotten busier now that netball season has started - I'm sitting down to bang out the Skinfest. Er, no pun intended.

Miss WTF is in a foul mood at the moment as her Wests Tigers lost this evening, so in a rare non-taunting moment in our good natured rivalry I hope this picture of Benji Marshall cheers her up:

I've never made a secret I'm not a big Sonny Bill Williams fan, but I thought his unintentional head shot of glass-jawed Andrew Johns (of whom I really can't stand) didn't deserve the punishment it got. So in sympathy, I give you the tattooed one:

Just the other day I saw a recent picture of Phoebe Cates and damn she looks fantastic for 43. Between that photo and yellojkt's comment last week regarding her Fast Times at Ridgemont High role, I officially add Phoebe to my list of women I'd wear comfortable shoes for:

More skin next week!

A Little Creepy

I like to check my hits every few days in order to see how people find my blog and to pull out the really odd search strings. But I've noticed lately that this picture is pulling in a lot of hits:

Sure I look fabulous, and it is my profile photo, but after looking at the original post that I used this photo in, I cannot figure out the sudden increase. There's nothing particularly racy about the picture outside of a tiny bit of cleavage, and upon a second viewing my legs are incredibly pale, so I'm lost. Unfortunately I cannot see the phrase(s) used to find this particular picture out of the many pictures I have posted. Anyone have any ideas? Has someone hijacked my picture? If you're here because of said photo, clue me in and tell me how you found it. Because the flattery has turned to creepy stalking feeling, and I don't like it.

Photo Friday

My mother - aka Momma Mooselet - likes to deny she and my father were hippies. You be the judge:

Apologies for the image quality - it was the best I could do with my sad photo editing skillz and a 30+ year old photo.

Odd Spots

I get several hits a week from people who have typed the search phrase "libra odd spots". They are then directed to this post. Go look, it will save me the explanation. Since I'm back riding the cotton pony post-Clive, I'm back to enjoying a little bathroom knowledge thanks to the good people at Libra. Here's some more of what I've learned:

#109 If the stomach did not store food, people would have to eat every 20 minutes. And I would be a much happier and skinnier person today. Damn you evolution.

#300 Blype is the name given to skin that peels off after sunburn. I used to love peeling blype when I was young. Now it's just gross.

#6 Road Runner has only been caught by Wily E. Coyote once, on 21 May 1980. Why don't we celebrate this day? Makes more sense than some holidays.

#2 The size of your foot is approximately the size of your forearm. This made me think a) hell, I've got really big feet and b) of that old myth that you could tell the size of a man's dangley bits by the size of his shoes. I could have saved my teen-aged self a lot of embarrassment in our attempts to find shoe sizes of various boys and just checked out their arms instead.

#78 A baby grey whale consumes enough milk to fill more than 2000 bottles a day. And you thought Clive ate a lot...

#240 Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards. This is why they feature on the Australian coat of arms. This does not stop them from being served up as dinner, however.

#18 Ancient Romans believed chickpeas to be a powerful aphrodisiac, especially for men. Ladies, the next time you want to get your man in the mood, forget the lingerie and serve up a little hummus instead.

#280 During menstruation, the sensitivity of a woman's middle finger is reduced. The better to tell you off with, my dear.

#274 A "bap" is a hamburger bun in England. I have readers from that side of the world, so tell me if this is still used and in what sense. "Honey, can you go to the shops and pick up some baps?"

# 357 Owls are reportedly the only birds that can see the colour blue. How do they know this? Did they ask? The thought of someone slicing open hundreds of birdie eyeballs to check out what type of cones are in there is just too bizarre to contemplate.

Burned Out? Me?

You Are 87% Burned Out

You are extremely burned out. You work too hard, and you're not getting the results you deserve. It's time for a life change, as soon as you can manage it. You're giving away most of your energy to something you don't even enjoy.

Are You Burned Out?

Only 87%??? That means I have 13% to go until total meltdown. I'm gonna be fine!

Seriously, I'm just experiencing a little setback with Clive. He's now decided waking up at night means more than just a feed - it's time to laugh and kick and check out how things look in the dark. Someday, when he's 16 and sleeping for 14 hours at a time I'll look back on these times and laugh... and promptly go and wake the lazy sod up in revenge.

Shaved

I promised I'd update everyone when Mumfies eldest, Charlie aka Bloodnut, had shaved his head as part of his commitment to the Leukaemia Foundation's World's Greatest Shave. Let's remember Bottlebrush Head as he was prior to last Friday morning:

Having exceeded his goal of $300 - let us know just how much he did raise Mumfies - Charles and two other boys from his primary school bravely donned capes on the non-Superman variety. Let the buzzing begin:

When all was said and done, Charlie was indeed a lot lighter and had a hairline to match Mr. Mumfies:

OK, that's not quite true. Charlie still has more hair. I'm kidding!!! I have said before that bald men can be sexy, so those who are follicularly-challenged - don't get grumpy with me.

Thanks to those who donated to the cause - Momma Mooselet, your Tim Tams get posted tomorrow. Feel free to visit Charlie's page and see more photos, and to perhaps offer a word of praise to the young lad. Good on ya, Charlie!

Saturday Skinfest

The H2O edition.

Footy season has begun - woohoo!!! As I was happily sitting on the couch this evening getting Clive off to sleep watching a split screen so I could view two games simultaneously - I am such a guy in the sports sense - the Hermit commented that now the 2007 NRL season has begun I hardly need him around. Let's see, battery operated devices and hunky manflesh on telly... yup, I'm good! And not as much as a guy as I thought... unless I'm a gay man.

The bad news is my beloved Broncos lost their first match AND Darren Lockyer is out for up to 6 weeks with an ankle that, when he pulled it out of the tub of ice, was as swollen as my pregnant cankles. My only consolation is that Miss WTF's Tigers lost as well, so she can't give me too much shit. So let's drown our collective sorrows with Craig Wing, and water restrictions be damned:

Who likes shoulders? For me, good shoulders are essential; who wants to put their hands on bony bits? I don't think Mark Minichiello has that problem, do you:

For you menfolk I didn't think I'd find any cheergirls-in-the-pool shots that weren't straight from a porn film, and I since like to pretend that I have some morals (my in-laws read this you know) so I stayed away from that. But I thought I'd play the patriotic card instead:

More skin next week!

Photo Friday

When doing the 'Tales from the Trip' series of posts this past July about our holiday to Cairns in Far North Queensland, I never got around to the bulls of Rockhampton. Rockhampton, about midway up the Queensland coast, is the Cattle Capital of Australia. Throughout town you'll find these plasticine statues of the many varieties of bulls to be found:

Yes, they are anatomically correct in every sense of the word. It is something of a custom to count the number of bull balls you see as you drive through town - 3 going in, 5 going out for us - and they are often stolen. No, I'm not kidding. I suppose some people take the suggestion to "get some balls" literally.

You Want to Go Where?

An actual conversation between myself and the Teen this morning:

"Mum, do we have enough time after the orthodontist and before I go to school to do something?" She has a late start on Wednesdays.

Suspicions were aroused. "It depends. What do you want to do?"

"Well, I want to go to the shops (across from the orthodontist) and buy a new backpack."

"Yeah, okay. We have enough time for that." Silly, as the girl has at least a dozen bags, but I'm not paying.

"And then I want to go to the library."

Year 11 is the most difficult year of high school here in Queensland, with a boatload of work and assignments. "Sure. Do you need something for a project?"

"Not really. I want to get a book."

Has someone located my jaw yet? I'm not sure where it went after it fell to the floor. The Teen's reading material normally consists of teen magazines, and now she wants a book? From the library? There had to be a catch. "What type of book were you looking for?"

She became very animated. "Well, we're studying the Black Death in history, and it is SO cool! I want to get some more books and read more about it because, you know, it's cool and stuff."

OK, so it takes the bubonic plague to interest my daughter. And the fact that she finds a pandemic that killed 20 million Europeans 'cool' is nothing to worry about. People, she went into not one but TWO libraries after the first one only had one book. She's now waiting for me to help her study for her history exam.

If horrid deaths of millions is what it takes to get the Teen excited about school, who am I to argue? Up next, the Reformation and burnings at the stake! Woot woot!!!

I'm a M.O.M

It's a tough thing to admit to. You spend 9 months (or 8 and 1/2 in this case) waiting for your baby, and you imagine what a great baby he's going to be. After 3 kids, you've got it down to a science. You can handle anything this little one can dish out. You're going to have the best baby ever. And I do, I have...

Hey, did someone hear Reality knocking on my door again? Tell him to knock it off - I just got the baby to sleep after 90 minutes of screaming. Shhhh... oh hells bells you've woken up the baby! Will you go away if I 'fess up? You will? Fine.

I'm a M.O.M. Mother of a Monster, or to put it delicately, I have a 'difficult baby'.

Don't get me wrong - I wouldn't trade Clive for anything, not even an hour of piece and quiet. Two hours? Really? Well... no, no deal. When he grins that big sh*t eating grin that says, "I know I've been driving you insane, but look at me! Aren't I awesome? Come on, say it!" I just melt.

But the times in between, well let's just say it's a good thing he's got that grin.

He cries. A lot. For no apparent reason other than he likes to cry. For 14 hours - daylight and just beyond. I've tried just about everything to settle him - his swing, walks in the pram, being carried around the house, putting him on his back, putting him on his tummy, bottles of formula, bottles of water, dummies, white noise, no noise, classical music, warm baths, cool baths, lavender soap, car rides, singing, slings, crying it out, wind drops, colic drops - to little or no avail. My last hope is changing his formula in a desperate grab for sanity before I resign myself to the fact that my beautiful son is, well, a little shit.

I see babies being pushed through shopping centres in their prams, blissfully asleep. Or merrily chewing on whatever they can get their little hands on. "She slept through the night at 3 weeks, can you believe it?" "Little darling never makes a fuss, always happy aren't you?" Then there's me, looking harried as Clive screams away. I'm positively green with envy as I watch those parents and try to ignore people staring at me - and boy do they stare. They don't have to say anything, because what they're thinking is plain - why doesn't she 'do something' to stop that poor baby crying.

Good God don't you think I have? If you can give me a suggestion I haven't tried, I'm all for it! The one that nearly sent me over the edge was the well dressed thirtysomething who was in a shop with me as I juggled my bag, trying to find my wallet to pay for the bus passes for the Teen, with the Toddler yammering a mile a minute and Clive howling at the top of his tiny lungs. "That's why I'm never having kids," she said loudly and to no one in particular before walking away. I was torn between bursting into tears and calling after her that I hoped she died old and alone.

Not everyone is like that. I have had perfect strangers come up to me and with eyes full of sympathy say, "My son cried all the time for 6 months" or "He was up every two hours, I swear his feet didn't touch the ground for a year, he wanted to be held all the time", and I know they're trying to help me. I appreciate it, truly, but what I want to say is "So will you take him home for a while?"

Thank goodness for my friends; the ones at footy training who will hold Sir Screams-a-lot for me so I can catch my breath, who kept me company as I watched the Tween's first game 20 metres away from everyone else so the screaming didn't disrupt the cheering (note to self: try watching from behind the opposition bench, may throw them off their game), who take the Toddler to the toilet, get her drinks and sausages so at least I'm only dealing with one child, who simply help me by making me laugh and still hanging around and talking above the wailing.

I know that while I can't see the end of the tunnel, it is there. He won't be this way forever - it only seems like it. But until then, can you please not ask me the inane question, "Is he a good baby?" I may be forced to give you an honest answer.

Match Report Monday

The pre-season has officially begun, with the mighty Wests Panthers U12's stepping up to be graded. Being placed in the proper division can make or break a team - too hard and you quickly get demoralized, too easy and... well I have no idea as we've never been in that situation. Might be nice actually.

Last year we were placed in Division 2, which is really the third tier as there is the Premier Division, followed by Divs 1, 2 etc... We struggled there in the beginning, but we were always in the hunt. So this year TPTB put on their magical thinking caps and put us... in Division 1. WTH? We quickly agreed NOT to tell the boys before their first match, or it really would be over before it had begun.

How did it turn out? Read on, my friends. As always the match report is brought to you by Miss WTF:

Grading game 1, Division 1
Date: Friday 9th March 2007
Where: Matheson Oval, Petrie QLD
Who: Wests Panthers v Pine Rivers Bears
Score: 0 - 40

It looks like a flogging doesn't it? It sounds like a flogging too.... but it wasn't really. (No, really, for us it wasn't! - Mooselet) Our fellas lined up against a very good Division 1 side and held them out for the first 10 minutes which was a top effort. Unfortunately, after that the floodgates opened and they put 22 points on us before half time but that was only 4 tries. They really were a good side. Their halfback would have outpaced most of the adults on the sidelines. Their big number 10 was a massive unit with good pace, a great fend and some fancy footwork and he carved the boys up. They just couldn't pull him down in the first half.

Then came the funniest thing I've seen in ages. The boys had to pack a scrum. I think, from memory, we've only ever played 3 or 4 games where the ref has enforced the scrum rule. When the ref blew his whistle and called out "Scrum" our boys looked at him with vacant stares.(More vacant than usual, you mean? - Mooselet) Scrum? What's he talking about... Scrum? It took about 5 minutes to find the relevant players to form the scrum, then he had to explain to Michael (our halfback at the time) what he had to do. Well, what do you know... we won it! The boys tried valiantly to get over the line and nearly managed it a couple of times, but Pine Rivers were just too good in defence. (We weren't too shabby either, as the boys forced a number of Pine Rivers errors - Mooselet)



Half time came and the pep talk came with it. The boys didn't know that this was a Division 1 team and so when they found out, they were pretty stoked that they were only down by 22 points. (They found out??? Why is the Tween still clueless then? Right, because he's the Tween! Moving on... - Mooselet) In the second half, Wests came out firing. All of the boys dug in and tackled well. We looked pretty good in attack, but each time, the attack was snuffed out by great defence that caused us to either drop the ball or miss out on taking a 5th tackle option. Some massive tackles were pulled off on the big number 10 and he didn't like it when he fell to the ground. The bigger they are, the harder they fall and after a few good tackles from our lads, he wasn't so keen to get the ball. Great work by the new guys too. Scott had a couple of really good runs and Harry, Torin and Hayden all dug in there and tackled hard. Great effort boys!



All of you. The old heads were in there too, Josh and Eli were great in defence, the forwards made some brilliant runs (although they still like to run sideways before moving forward, but that will come). (Don't make us call you Wests Crabs again! - Mooselet) You played really well boys, and to lose by 40 points to that side is definitely no disgrace, so keep your chins up fellas. I think better sides than us will be beaten by more when they play that team during the year so you should be proud of the efforts you put in.

Once the grading is over and done with, they'll put you in a grade that suits your level of play and we'll be right as rain. You just have to play as a TEAM. Quit aiming your agro at each other and aim it at the opposition and you'll be amazed a what a difference that will make to the way you play. Come on fellas, we know you have it in you. Prove us right! (Please? - Mooselet)

Thanks to all the parents that turned up and cheered the boys on. It will get better, honestly! :-) It just takes a while to gel as a team. We've been beaten by more in previous seasons (ain't that the truth - Mooselet) but the boys always bounce back eventually, so keep cheering and stay positive and that first win will come soon enough.

Saturday Skinfest

The dacked and totally NSFW edition.

Apologies for my tardiness. While Clive had an awesome night last night - asleep by 7:30, up at 6:00 - it only made up for the horrid day he had yesterday. Take my word for it, it was bad.

So I thought I'd do something a little daring for the Skinfest. I enjoy a good accidental dacking, and when you watch a sport where the gear consists of tiny little shorts and grabbing of said shorts in an attempt to tackle is allowed you're going to get an eyeful now and then:

I know what you're thinking, but not all dackings result in the exposed sweaty man tush. Sometimes you only loose the shorts, so the urgency to yank everything up is a little less and we're treated to shots such as these:

I've spent the last hour looking for similar pics for you gentlemen (really), but since cheerleading isn't a contact sport there just isn't the number of dackings out there. I thought about blatantly stealing borrowing a pic from Gabe's answer to the Skinfest, but thought I'd stick to what little standards I have and give you the best I could:


More skin next week.

Photo Friday

Did you know that the kangaroo is one of Australia's national emblems? Here are a mob of them lounging about Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary and being visited by the Tween and the Toddler:


Ok, you may have known about them being national icons, but did you know that we're the only country to actually eat their national emblems? Fire up the barbie...

Weirdness Continues

I'm very sorry I don't have the energy to come up with something more original. In some sick fashion I had gotten used to getting up with Clive twice a night for the past 12 weeks, but now he's cut it back to once a night and it has screwed me up. He even managed to sleep through the entire night once - which while welcomed freaked me right the hell out and I rushed in to make sure he was okay. Now my body must adjust to the once a night thing and it's taking its toll. Be patient.

I've been saving the best of the freakish hits I get from search engines - mainly Google - so here are some to tide you over until my muse Sheldon gets off his ass and inspires me.


inhaling paint fumes whilst pregnant (from Australia)
- is bad. Is very VERY bad. Stop now.

"his ear pierced" looks so cool (from Germany)
- I'm sure he thinks so. I know the quotation marks mean 'search for exact phrase', but why this exact phrase? Brain... hurts... from over-thinking why you searched for this.

droolings of deer head (from US)
- I... um... I've got nothing. I can't explain this, please feel free to try.

proven facts about sleeping with socks on (from US)
- Fact: I don't like it. I don't know what hypothesis you're trying to prove, but I guess passing up the 17 results before me wasn't good enough. Hope I helped.

nappy reins locking leash (from Germany)
- You need to team up with the guy looking for drooling deer heads, and then I'd be totally baffled and my head would probably explode.

movie husband "name backwards" -manson -"jim jones" -trebek -alucard -superman (from US)
- I swear I'm not making these up. Now excuse me while I mop my grey matter up off the floor...

Baldness is IN

Meet regular commenter and good mate Mumfies' oldest boy, sometimes called Master 11 and outed here as Charlie Mumford. Although he's been known to answer to Bottlebrush Head, owing to that large red mop that is masquerading as hair on the top of his head. He needs a haircut, doesn't he?

Funny you should think of that. In the great Aussie tradition of doing odd things to oneself in the name of organized charity - from the relatively tame Jeans for Genes and Tatts & Tiaras to the cute Red Nose Day for SIDS and the funky Movember - Charlie is participating in the granddaddy of them all, the Leukaemia Foundations World's Greatest Shave, which is far as I can tell limited to Australia but they have aspirations. Everyone seems to love this one, and why wouldn't you? There is something inherently funny about seeing someone's head shaved - why else would they show you that scene in every single military recruit movie ever made? For those too attached to their locks, you can also colour your hair. But Charlie is making the commitment - with Mumfies permission of course - to shave his curly locks off.

Personally, I suspect they'll find a family of four living in there, Charlie will instantly lose a kilo of weight and Mumfies will have to buy him a new hat for school.

If you'd like to see the after photo, help raise a few dollars for a good cause and help Mumfies save on shampoo costs, please visit Charlie's page and make a donation. As a bonus to my US readers, consider that the US dollar is worth more than the Australian dollar so you'll be getting more scalp for your buck. I'll also send anyone who donates a packet of Tim Tams, no matter your location and all postage paid. I'm not above bribery.

The shaving date is the 16th of March, so watch this space for the after photos. I know I can't wait to see the little darling - after all, his hairline will be a close match to Mr. Mumfies then!

Great Wests Fire of 2007

Ah, the smell of a barbecue! The smoke wafting gently past, making ones stomach growl for a tasty sizzling treat. You take a swig of your drink - beer, Coke or maybe a rum and coke - and begin searching for some money. Is there a better way to pass the time while your son trains for the upcoming thrashings preseason than with a cold drink, hot food and good friends?

Gee, that smoke seems a little thicker than normal. Best turn the baby around the other way in his pram so he doesn't get the full blast. Good thing there's a bit of a breeze, it'll blow that smoke away in no time. Where'd I leave that dollar?

Ok, now this is getting silly. I'm really having a hard time breathing and don't you know there are babies downwind? Wow, that barbie is really smoking. Shouldn't you turn it down? It is? Guess those sausages are a little greasy tonight. Hey look, flames! Who likes their snags a little crispy on the outside? Har har har...

Honey, come away from the barbecue. Yes the flames are very pretty, but fire is very hot and we shouldn't go near it. Yeah, I think it's a good idea to turn to gas off and let the oil burn itself off. Are the boys still out there training? I can't see them through the smoke.


Oh wow, the grease trap is on fire! Who knew it could produce that colour smoke? When was the last time it was cleaned? No, don't throw water on it! Never put water on a grease fire, you should smother it. I think we should take the babies out into the fresh air. C'mon sweetie, follow Mummy and your brother. Yes, that fire is really big now but we shouldn't stay to watch it.

Good, someone found a pan to smother it with. Applause applause... oh no. Well I guess the fire under the pan is out but too bad about the fire around it. Don't we have a fire extinguisher? Or a fire blanket? No, I don't think snapping a dish towel at the flames will quite do it. Hey, isn't our club president a fireman? What's that Miss WTF, your nasal hairs are singed and your asthma is playing up?

Hurrah, someone got the fire extinguisher from the main concession stand that's several hundred metres away on the other side of the car park! Let's get this fire out once and for all and keep moving the babies out of the path of the toxic smoke, shall we?



What's that? Your mummy sent you up to see if the sausages are ready now that the smoke is cleared? Well let's just get some sandpaper to get these chemicals off the grill plates and we'll see what we can do...

I wonder if this is a sign of things to come for the 2007 footy season.

Saturday Skinfest

Boy do I need the Skinfest right now. Clive had a really good night last night - easily asleep just after 8:30 and didn't wake up until close to 4:30 am, after which he went right back to sleep for a few more hours. It's just a shame the Toddler and the Hermit didn't have the same type of night, because between her restless sleep and his chainsaw like snoring I didn't get much more sleep than usual. Ugh....

So let's make me happy by ogling some hunky guys together, alright? Alrighty. Miss WTF's contribution to the Skinfest continues with these pictures taken in the door-wide-open sheds after the game up here last week. How good is it when your mate is as much of a perv as you are? First up Liam Fulton, whose incredibly airbrushed photo featured here. I never wanted to be an ice pack so much in all my life:


The fan in this pic is Miss WTF's friend Christine (I think) who could not believe her luck to be close to so much hunky manflesh. And then to have Chris Heighington pose next to her in nothing but his shorts? The fact that his favourite song is 'Achy Breaky Heart' can be forgiven after that:

Guys, you remember last week and the Wests Tigers cheergirls cartwheels caught in mid cartwheels? Oh go refresh your memory for a sec... back now? Apparently the ladies were being judged in a dancing competition and as Miss WTF was reviewing some shots she noticed one of the judges, former player Luke Ricketson, doing what all you guys are thinking:

More skin next week!

Photo Friday

I feel a little guilty posting another picture of Clive when I do have 3 other kids, but this one was a classic!!! If only he'd do this at night now...