MyPicks
In a blatant play on the wording of MySpace, I bring you my NRL tips. Tipping is the Australian word for betting, which is perfectly legal here and highly encouraged. Seriously you can bet on anything, from sports the world over to who will win the next election (both here and in the US) to what will happen in the TV ratings.
I'm enrolled in several online NRL tipping competitions, none of which involve actual money leaving my pocket so don't think I'm becoming some kind of problem gambler. The one I watch most closely is the one at the Tween's football club, where last week I was the overall winner (Hurrah!) and more importantly beat Miss WTF for the second week running.
So in an attempt to share even more useless facets of my life with you, I'm bringing you my weekly NRL tips. I will endeavour to keep them short and sweet, and only ask if you win any cash off of my picks, send me a percentage. Feel free to disagree with me in the comments.
US readers, which comprise about 40% of my hits, don't be put off - play along! You may not know a blessed thing about the teams, but instead choose on random things like uniforms, studly Skinfest features (check the links ladies!)or cute mascots. Most weeks you've got as good of a chance as the rest of the "experts".
Brisbane Broncos v Penrith Panthers: I've tipped my Broncos to win on this one, based on the return of the Shirtless Wonder Darren Lockyer and their desperation to win a game after dropping their first two cold. That, and I think Panther Craig Gower is a wanker. But I'm not confident, and think it'll be a close game. Don't prove me wrong Broncos!
Parramatta Eels v Wests Tigers: Miss WTF will be shocked, but I've picked the Tigers against bookies odds. They'll be looking to make up for their dreadful performance last week, while the Eels are still trying to find their feet. And Eels player/former porn star look-a-like Nathan Hindmarsh is still out on injury.
St. George-Illawarra Dragons v Nth Queensland Cowboys: An easy pick - Cowboys. Johnathon Thurston and Matty Bowen are on fire, while the Dragons have struggled to pull it together. Go the Cowboys!
Cronulla Sharks v South Sydney Rabbitohs: Who would've thought that the perinneal cellar-dwellers the Bunnies would be sitting near the top of the table? Guess that's what happens when Russell Crowe buys your team. And since I hate, hate, HATE Sharks coach Ricky Stuart, I pick the Bunnies to go all Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog on the Sharks ass.
Melbourne Storm v New Zealand Warriors: This was a toughie. In the Storms favour we have a very adaptable team and hottie Billy Slater. On the other hand we have a tough-as-nails Kiwis lead by the studly Steve Price. Since they play in Melbourne (Yanks, say it "mel-burn") I pick the home side in a hard hitting, blood spilling match.
Canterbury Bulldogs v Gold Coast Titans: The Dirty Dogs are a team I ordinarily despise as I count Willie Mason as a boofheaded moron. But they were horribly embarrassed last week by Penrith and will be out to redeem themselves. Titans just don't have it together enough to win this one.
Sydney Roosters v Manly Sea Eagles: Oh how the mighty have fallen. The Roosters used to be feared, now they are merely headless chooks. What fun to see them smashed, as will happen again this week. Mwahahahahahahaha!!!!
Canberra Raiders v Newcastle Knights: It pains me to tip the Knights as Andrew Johns gets under my skin like no other. He's one of those people you love to hate, like Payton Manning. But he's talented and has been named to play after his concussion two weeks ago, and Canberra, whilst not a bad as the bookies will have you believe, won't be able to stop him. Dammit.
3 Witty Remarks:
I have got to say that while some of the team names fit right into the usually scheme for sports team - Broncos, Tigers, Panthers - some of the other names seem a bit odd to non Aussie ears. I don't mean any of this as a slam against Oz - I love OZ and have considered moving over on a permanent basis, this is more of a commentary on the linguistic and cultural differences between countries.
Take the Parramatta Eels - can you picture that eel on a Wheeties Box? While some species of eels may be firce fighters, they are slimy and sneaky - who picks an eel for a mascot.
And the Manly Sea Eagles - come on! A sea eagle (tern) is just a big seagull. They are dirty birds, scavengers even. And the Manly, while I know it is a city over there, sounds to my ears like the guys got together and said "Hey, lets not forget to tell them we're macho."
The Newcastle Knights sounds like a gay rock band, and the S Sidney Rabbitohs sound like a girl scout troop.
It would be fun to have a battle of the NRL mascots - I'm picturing the seven foot tall rabbit stomping on the seven foot long but six inch high eel as the Knights joust a la the 'Once and Future King' - one of my favorite books - to the crowing of the Roosters.
In any case Go Bronocos and Go Tigers!
LOL.. go you bronocos!
Unfortunately it didn't help this week momma moomoo, but thanks for your support.
I have to say, an eel is a very apt mascot for the players in the team. Snakey, slimy, dirty things they are. I'm looking at you PJ Marsh!
And I love picturing Andrew Johns at the front of that gay rock band. You couldn't have got it more right... LOL
Tips are lookin a bit sorry moosie! Better than mine so far though :(
I love your take on the teams, Momma. Had a chuckle.
In the local comp we have the Recliffe Dolphins. Now, I don't wish to offend, however I usually do, so I'll continue.
Dolphins appear to be an absolutely beautiful, gentle creature. Quite the opposite to Redcliffe - the residents and the football team. Recliffe baffoons/thughs/bozos, anything would have been better suited.
Quite a game our poor little guys had to endure yesterday.
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