Come Out Come Out Wherever You Are!

Tomorrow is shaping up to be an interesting day. Not because I have to score the Tween's baseball semi-final tomorrow morning, or because I have an hour in between returning home from the baseball and taking the Teen to her netball game. Not even because I have another hour in between getting home from netball and taking the Teen off to work. That's just a typical Saturday. It's a good one, as a matter of fact, because I don't have to be at baseball until 9 am! Bonus.

No, it's interesting because it will be the Toddler's fourth day without pooping. For some reason, moving the bowels on the toilet is a different thing for toddlers than emptying the bladder on the toilet. I have no real idea why this is so, but it is. She'll pee anywhere, but pooping? Nope. I even put a nappy (diaper) on her this afternoon in the hopes she'd go hide behind a curtain and do the deed. I've plied her with apple juice and fruit juice and water and fiber... nothing.

Instead I've spent the better part of two days taking her to the toilet. Every 5 minutes or less while we were home went something like this:

"Mummy I got to go POOPIES!!"

Off to the toilet, pants down, up on the seat. Much groaning and straining noises while shouting "GET OUT POOPIES!!!" I had no idea yelling at it helped. Off the toilet with no success, pants up and hands washed. Go back to whatever it was I was doing beforehand - laundry, eating, computer or a combination of all three at once.

"Mummy I got to go POOPIES 'gain!! MUM-MEEEEE!!"

Sigh. For two days, people, toddler poop has consumed my life. And you know it's not getting any easier as time goes on. Do you think she'll drink some Metamucil?

Useless Fact About Me #23

I am a soft drink addict. Specifically, a diet soft drink (or soda as it's called back in New England) addict. My latest addiction is the new Coke Zero - which I see has a different labeling from the US one. I changed to it because both the Hermit and I will drink it, negating the need to buy two different brands of teeth-rotting goodness.

My first can gets opened as soon as I stumble out of bed, and never stops. I will also drink Diet Coke, Diet Coke with Vanilla, Diet Coke with Lime, Pepsi Max, and Diet Pepsi (but only in the US as the Australian version tastes like donkey piss). The caffeine boost is an essential component, although if forced I'll drink Sprite Zero. My daily intake is somewhere around 1.5 to 2 litres a day of the stuff. Is that bad?

Technorati Tag: Coke Zero, Soft Drink Addiction

Me and Gabe

Many siblings look alike. The Teen, Tween and Toddler all look like they share common traits. This is remarkable considering half of the Toddler's gene pool is different than her siblings. The Hermit and his sisters also look very much alike. Other siblings, however, do not. This is true for myself and my younger, and only, brother Gabe. We look nothing alike. We've seen people looking back and forth from one to the other and after all this time we know what they're thinking - one of us has to be adopted. We're not, or so we're told.

I'm average - average height, average build, average looks. And I'm okay with that. Gabe's not average in any of those ways and strives not to be. Judge for yourself:



Taken at the Happiest Place on Earth back in 2001. Actually, I think this is MGM Studios as Gabe resolved not to set one Converse into the Magic Kingdom, whereas I (with the Hermit and children) went twice.

We do have things in common, though. The natural atheletic abilty gene that was abundant in our mother skipped both of us, we can swear like sailors and we both have a decidedly bent sense of humour. We get along fabulously now - actually we started getting along a lot better as teenagers once we realized our fights were going to get me killed as he was bigger than me - and he's one of the people I miss most since my move Down Under.

Dude, you rock!

Cyclone Larry 'Deaths'

It is with heavy heart that I must report on two deaths as a result of Cyclone Larry. Bodies weren't found right away...



Guess they won't be chasing anymore teddy bears!!!

Technorati Tags: Cyclone Larry, Bananas In Pyjamas

Match Report Monday

Match Report Monday brought to you by Miss WTF and the letter 'N'. You'll see why... Photos also courtesey of Miss WTF and her mad Photoshop skillz. Now the first photo you'll see is not the same blonde haired Tween you're used to. I haven't traded him in (yet), but I loved this picture and obtained permission to put him up here. Tween features in photo number 2.

Date: March 26th, 2006
Where: Sports Ground, Burpengary
Who: Burpengary Jets v Wests Panthers
Result: Jets 20- Panthers 0

I had a huge diatribe written out to vent my frustrations of the weekend's fiasco, but I decided it would do nobody any good and that, instead, we should talk about the positives of yesterday's game. For those of you reading who weren't there, I'll give you a very quick (and most likely bitter) account of the events.

Basically, we rocked up to Burpengary to play with 13 kids (a full team but no reserves), but only 10 were allowed to take the field because the Nazi officials at Burpengary wouldn't accept the kids ID cards unless they had a picture. Didn't matter that they had an official player number, just that there was no picture of the boys to verify who they were. Of course, all of our boys look like under 16s in disguise with their bulging muscles and three day growth...duh!! Lucky we left Leon Bott in the boot of my car for that game. He never would have got on the field! It was a bit of a joke really (more than a bit... we're talking 10 & 11 year olds!! Can you say 'power trip'? - Mooselet) seeing as it wasn't even a real game, but a grading game with no premiership points involved. The woman at the office counter (who strangely enough, reminded me of the slug-like woman, Roz was it?( yes it was - Mooselet) behind the clock in counter in Monsters Inc.) looked seriously incredulous when I told her that we would forfeit if they wouldn't let the boys who hadn't signed their cards, but had pics to prove their identity, play. She relented and we at least managed to get 10 kids on the field. Unfortunately Eli, Felix and Jacob were not allowed to play and as you can imagine, they were really disappointed, as were the rest of the team and parents. But there was nothing we could do about it, so we had to either forfeit or play. We chose to play!

10 Wests Panthers players took to the field. No reserves. 3 players short. It seemed Burpengary had about 26 players ready to go. Ok, so perhaps I exaggerated... but they had 13 plus at least 5 reserves that I counted. (Let's not forget how hot it was out on that field as well - Mooselet)

Our boys played so well. The held Burpengary out for at least 10 minutes before the first try was scored. Great effort boys! Burgpengary scored another 2 tries in that half and lead 14 - nil at half time. The boys really rallied in the second half and almost went over in the corner after spreading the ball very quickly. DJ threw a great pass to Matt who tumbled over right in the corner then copped a knee in his back for his troubles (yes, a very nice bruise developing :-). But the touch judge, who was about 15m away, said he dropped it. IDIOT!!! Three kids (about 15 years old) from another team were sitting on the side line right in front of where the ball was put down and they were telling the touchie Matt got it down and that it was a try, but noooooooo. Disallowed! (So much for that benefit of the doubt to the attacking side, eh? - Mooselet)



Anyway, the boys made a few more good breaks up the centre of the field. Great line running by Broden, Harrison, Simon and DJ, and brilliant tackling by Josh, Ethan and Jarrod really put pressure on the opposition. The boys held them down to 1 try in the second half. A brilliant effort boys. You all played so well and we're very proud of the way you handled yourselves out there. As disappointing as the day was, we are certainly very impressed with the way you boys dealt with it. To the boys who didn't get to play, we are really sorry. BUT, you will have your chance next week against Redcliffe where we'll need you all on your best game. I think this year could be the year we take Redcliffe down.



To all the boys, you handled yourselves brilliantly. As disappointed as the 3 boys who couldn't play were, they still supported the team and the boys who did play supported those who couldn't. It really was a proud day to be a Panther parent. (That's for sure! Being good sports is part of the game as well - something the folks up there could do well to learn - Mooselet) Well done boys! Let's kick some Redcliffe butt next week. I will make sure that we have photos and signed cards for every player by Wednesday so we are all right to go.

Technorati Tag: Junior Rugby League

Saturday Skinfest

No witty banter tonight, let's just get right to it. Because sometimes you need to have it NOW!

I have no earthly idea why Steve Price is stretched out in all his bruised glory and having several photographers take pics of his speedo-clad body, but I thank him for it:



Currently Melbourne is getting their ass handed to them by the Cowboys, but the Boy We Love to Perv On, Billy Slater, is from Innisfail - the North Queensland town battered by Cyclone Larry. And I'll take whatever straws I can grasp or flimsy excuse I can find to put him up:



Since the Newcastle Knights are on a roll, making a joke of last year's dead last finish, let's give you menfolk a cheerchick from that blue collar town:



Wish us luck at Burpengary tomorrow for the Juniors game, and see you back at Saturday Skinfest next week!!!

Technorati Tags: NRL Shirtless, NRL Players, NRL Cheergirls

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!!!

You Are Jan Brady

Brainy and a little introverted, you tend to think life is a lot worse than it actually is. And while you may think you're a little goofy looking, most people consider you to be a major babe.

What Brady Are You?

Stay the Bloody Hell Away Then

Seems the new Aussie tourism campaign is getting certain Americans all upset. Might as well make it a trifecta - first the Brits, then the Canucks, and finally the Yanks.

Before we continue, go ahead and watch the ad if you haven't seen it already. Go on...

The BBC originally banned the use of the word 'bloody' in the ad's tagline. Said it was profanity and could not be aired. A bit rich, since they invented the bloo... er, I mean darned word to begin with. Some lobbying from the Aussies and some well-timed profanity from Prince Edward led to a reversal by the Poms and the ad in all its bikini clad glory was shown. Hooray.

Then the Canadians got mad. Ok, not really mad, but they too banned part of the ad. Didn't like the use of the word 'hell' during kiddy time. Fair enough, don't show it during whatever it is kids in Canada watch. Apparently they got upset about the beer. You can't show unbranded beer in ads in Canada. Wha..?? So if instead of a half-empty beer glass you could see a bottle of insert-your-favourite-brand-here they'd be right as rain. I'll have to get a ruling from DarkSideDeb on this one before I brand Canadians as just plain odd.

Now the Americans are upset. Or rather, the American Family Association is upset. With its two million members, they plan a phone and email campaign against Tourism Australia to let them know that the typical American family just doesn't appreciate the use of the "shocking" term 'bloody'.

Oy vey.

Now if the ad said "So where the fucking hell are you?", I could understand the ruckus. Or even if they objected to the word 'hell' like the Canadians. I wasn't allowed to say hell growing up. I had to say 'h-e-double hockey sticks'. But they're upset about 'bloody'. It's offensive. Oh grow up. Any kid who's read a Harry Potter book will have been exposed to the phrase, as it's a favourite of sidekick Ron Weasley. I think it may even be in the first movie. Give your kids some credit, ok?

Some choice quotes from the AFA director of special projects, Randy Sharp:

"When you think 'bloody' in America you think the red liquid that flows from human bodies which is usually a sign of some kind of violence."

Oh for heaven's sake... Put it into context, will you?

"Australians are spending all of these millions of dollars inviting us, and if we go over there are we going to be exposing our kids to foul language and images of bloody?"

Again, all about context pal. Does the term 'bloody hell' really invoke images of fire and brimstone brimming with blood?? Cos if it does, you've got bigger issues than this ad.

"We don't want our kids to hear the term 'bloody'."

Then don't come. Seriously, stay home. Because you'll hear it if you visit. There are also topless beaches and Janet Jackson's 'wardrobe malfunction' didn't even rate the front page. Nor was it edited at all. Can I say that nipple thingy she was wearing looked painful? Ouch.

The members of AFA are planning to boycott Australia as a holiday destination. Thank you!!! Most sensible thing you've done. Although I doubt many of their members are the type to venture past the borders of the US.

Tell me, American readers, are you offended by the ad? Would you consider not coming to Australia because of it? Does it lower your opinion of Australia? And Aussies, how does all this fuss make you feel about the ad? Overblown reactions or typical stuff from the Brits and Yanks? I'm comment whoring, I know, but I want to know what the rest of the world (or those who read my stuff) bloody thinks!

Technorati Tags: Australia, American Family Association, bloody hell

More Larry Destruction

Just a couple more pictures of the devestation up in north Queensland around Innisfail. You can read the stories on The Courier Mail website. There is an excellent slideshow link on the main page with even more incredible photos. It's a miracle no one was seriously injuried or killed.

This large building had its roof completely sheered off in Innisfail.

These banana trees went over in a matter of minutes, completely wiping out this farmers crop.

This woman emerged from the wreckage of her home with only minor injuries.

There is another storm, Cyclone Wati, waiting about 1000 kms offshore. Too early to tell which way it's going to go, so keep your fingers crossed it dies out or heads to the north out to sea.

Technorati Tags: Australia, Cyclone Larry

Larry Is No Larrikin

Those back in the US may or may not have heard about Cyclone Larry that blew through far North Queensland this morning. It came ashore as a category 5 - just like Katrina was at one stage - but was downgraded to a category 4 after making landfall:



Don't worry about me in Brisbane, which is off the bottom right of the map here. All we've had is some high cloud cover. We're hoping for a little rain out of it, but it's unlikely. The town of Innisfail bore the brunt of the storm's 290 kph (180 mph) winds and by most accounts half of all buildings are damaged. Amazingly, there were less than a dozen injuries - none serious - and no fatalities.






Also, the banana crop has been destroyed. FNQ produces more than 80% of the Australian crop, and it's all gone. All of it. $300 million worth of bananas destroyed. Damn. Sugar cane has also been hit hard, with estimates of 85% of the region's crop destroyed. This has less of an impact than the bananas as the area only produces 15% of the country's sugar cane. But tell that to the farmers who've lost their crop to Larry:



Aussies are a hardy bunch, and help is already on the way. But spare a thought for them, the folks of North Queensland, before you resume your regularly scheduled activities. Do you think they'll use these images in a new ad campaign??

Technorati Tags: Cyclone Larry, Australia
Images from The Courier Mail

My Delicate Little Flower

Isn't the Toddler a cutie?? The big eyes, the cheeky smile. Let's her get away with murder. After all, Miss WTF took her picture even when she was wearing her Broncos jersey.

The Toddler has become quite a fixture down at the Tween's football club. Her favourite part of the night is when all the boys come off the field after training. She can hang out with them and con a couple of them to throw her football to her before they all go home. She watches them like a hawk, even copying some moves she must've learnt from them:




Ah yes, that's my girl.

Technorati Tag: Toddlers

Match Report Monday

Date: Sunday March 19th... a day to remember.
Where: Purtell Park, Bardon
Who: Wests Panthers V Albany Creek Crushers
Result: 26-24..... yes, can you believe it?? We won the first game!! Woohooo!


How good is that!? First game of the season proper and the boys came out firing with a win. Unbelievable!

They played really well. We almost scored another 3 tries as well so the signs are looking great for the rest of the season. DJ scored 2 tries, as did Zac L and Simon scrambled across the line to get us to the lead late in the second half. It was an extraordinary game really.

In the first half (which lasted 35 minutes, instead of 20) we scored first with DJ bolting down the left hand side line to score in the corner (1 handed put down was a bit dubious, but was awarded luckily :-). (Hey, there was downward pressure! I've seen the video review - Mooselet) Crushers came back and scored but missed the conversion, so we lead 6-4. Then Zac L retrieved a kick down on our 10m line and flew up the park to score under the posts. Crushers again scored, but DJ went in again in exactly the same spot as his first try. Crushers then scored 2 really quick tries to have us worried. BUT...the boys were pumped. Really pumped!! They were hitting the line well and they held Crushers out a few times with great defense on their own try line, forcing errors and re-gathering the ball. Top stuff boys.


Zac L went in for his second try with a great run straight up the middle, carving them up to score again. How excited were the boys!?? From the sidelines you heard the following, which made me laugh hysterically - "Come on boys, get back. We could actually win this!" And they did. Josh nearly forced his way over but was a touch short, although I give him 1000 points for confidence and style (spinning over and planting the ball). Simon went over, but it was a double movement, then Simon went over again and the try was awarded. Upon viewing the video replay (i.e. the video footage we took) it seemed he MAY (just may) have dropped the ball over the line but what are you gonna do. The ref awarded it and we'll take that lucky break thank you very much. The second half only lasted 15 minutes until the opposition coach came out and said their boys were knackered and asked could they please stop. Adrian asked what the score was, heard we were in front and said "Sure". Victory number 1 under our belts. Woohoo!

Great job boys. Some really good signs that we're going to have a great year. Just a few things to fix up, like getting you to spread out (not huddle around the ball like it's freshly baked cookies) and getting you to pass wide to the wingers and we'll be right up the pointy end all year I think. Some great tackling too. (Also a great intercept by Simon that lead to a try and a near intercept by DJ - shows they're thinking ahead, or just plain thinking - Mooselet)

So, congrats on your first win boys. Great game. Let's hope it continues. Ok, have a great week all, and bask in the glory of our first win. Who knows when the next one will be :-)

Technorati Tag: Junior Rugby League

Saturday Skinfest

Woohoo!!! I'm three for three so far this week on my winning picks, and my fourth pick is leading at the moment. Much better than last week, and there's still tomorrow.

Let's celebrate by seeing a couple of try scoring men from the winning sides, shall we?

Nathan Hindmarsh is another one of those guys who's not so hot from the neck up plus he's got goofy hair. Not Sideshow Bob hair, just dead-unwashed-animal-pelt hair. But at a healthy 104 kgs (that's 229 lbs) I'm not gonna tell him so. I'm just going to admire the build:


Now big Brad Thorn has featured here before, but it was soooooo good to see my Broncos come up with the win this week after being slaughtered last week. Brad, take my advice and get your Kiwi backside out into the sunshine without your shirt, 'kay? Loose the idiot tan, but keep the rest:


I didn't forget about you men, either. So these lovely Bulldogs babes didn't score any tries personally, but I'm betting they inspired a few. Or perhaps inspired thoughts of scoring in a different, nothing-to-do-with-footy manner:



See you next week!

Technorati Tags: NRL Shirtless, NRL Players, NRL Cheergirls


UPDATE: Four for four!!! Oh yeah, uh-huh, I'm good... doin' the happy dance, gettin' down with my bad self... and you thought I was kidding when I said I had no life. Oh yeah.. do the dance...

When Did I Make the Funny Pages?

Every now and again, I come across some comics that could've been lifted straight from my life. A sample:


My fellow Americans, please do not try to impress Australians with your grasp of Aussie strine. You will fail, and they will laugh behind your back. I've seen it happen. That is all...


How very true. From simple tasks like feeding the dogs to "complex" ones such as clean your bedroom, they don't get done unless I crack a whip.



Oh, I sooooo need me some of that. But I suspect what she calls "Mom Strength" the authorities call "methamphetamines".


This dog? Is my dog. Shelby, aka Dumb, has been known to eat loaves of bread in the plastic bag, tubs of butter, bags of licorice, chicken stock cubes and Hershey chocolates - both in their foil wrappers. Makes poop patrol very interesting. And yes I know chocolate is bad for dogs - do you think I leave this stuff out intentionally??? Why do you think we call her 'Dumb'?

Technorati Tags: Comics, Baby Blues, Foxtrot, Rhymes With Orange, Sherman's Lagoon

ZZZzzzzzz

I engaged in one of my favourite activities last night. Sleeping on the couch.

This is different that being banished to the couch, which as a woman wouldn't happen to me, or passing out on the couch after too much alcohol or too many late nights with the kiddies. This is deliberate I'm Gonna Watch TV til I Sleep action.

It used to be a favourite of mine back in the US on a winter's night. The Hermit would build a nice fire in the fireplace, I'd snuggle down under a blanket and within five minutes I'd be sound asleep. I'd wake up a couple of hours later, lights off and fire banked, and make my way upstairs to bed. Bliss.

I don't partake in this so much anymore. It's too warm most of the time for a fire - even though I have a fireplace - and I'm just too busy. Laundry, dishes, toddler-induced mania, homework, taxi detail, bills, teen angst... it's all too much. Then the Hermit will have control of the remote, and I just can't fall asleep to American Chopper or Bad Movie #3489 on Showtime.

Last night was different. By 9:30 the kids were in bed (or at least in their rooms for the night). The Hermit had gone to bed early as well, as he'd been up at 4 am for an early flight to Sydney that day. Just me, the couch and the television. It's a perfect couch to sleep on - not too hard, not too soft with squashy pillows that just beg to cradle your weary head. I found my favourite Scooby Doo blanket someone had made for us, clicked on the History Channel to watch Infamous Murders and fell asleep listening to the likely murder of Jimmy Hoffa.

Does it get any better?

Scarily enough, I woke up not at my usual 1 am, but 4:30! Guess I was tired. Even scarier, not only was the same program on when I woke up, and I woke to the same segment to which I had fallen asleep. Talk about disorientation. I stumbled off to bed, and proceded to hog the covers for the next hour and a half. Couch sleeping is awesome.

But don't take my word for it. Couch sleeping is the preferred method for the Toddler as well:



A girl needs her beauty sleep, after all.

Technorati Tags: Beauty Sleep, Toddlers

Hungry Anyone?

Love this picture, courtesy of APOD. Makes me think of ginormous Star Trek monsters:



The best artist in the world has got nothing on the universe, baby.

Technorati Tag: APOD

Deep and Meaningful Quizzes... or Not

I am lazy, have a ton of filing to do, a budget to update and a blog to which I must post else Miss WTF will be all over me like flies on sh*t.

What do we do when faced with a deadline and nothing witty to say? Right you are, QUIZ TIME:

In honour of St. Patrick's Day, I give you this insightful quiz:

You Are Grass Green

Down to earth and a bit of a hippie, you are very into nature and the outdoors. You accept the world and people as they are. You don't try to change things. You are also very comfortable with yourself, flaws and all. Optimistic about the future, you feel like life is always getting better.

What Color Green Are You?

Guess it's a good thing I'm not allergic. And a "bit of a hippie"??? Well, maybe. While we're on the subject of colours...

Your Power Color Is Teal

At Your Highest: You feel accomplished and optimistic about the future. At Your Lowest: You feel in a slump and lack creativity. In Love: You tend to be many people's ideal partner. How You're Attractive: You make people feel confident and accepted. Your Eternal Question: "What Impression Am I Giving?"

What's Your Power Color?

I never saw myself as a 'teal', more of a purple. But the 'lowest' part is pretty spot on. Another take on my personality with this one:

Your Values Profile

Loyalty: You value loyalty a fair amount. You're loyal to your friends... to a point. But if they cross you, you will reconsider your loyalties. Staying true to others is important to you, but you also stay true to yourself. Honesty: You value honesty a fair amount. You're honest when you can be, but you aren't a stickler for it. If a little white lie will make a situation more comfortable, you'll go for it. In the end, you mostly care about "situational integrity." Generosity: You value generosity a fair amount. You are all about giving, as long as there's some give and take. Supportive and kind, you don't mind helping out a friend in need. But you know when you've given too much. You have no problem saying "no"! Humility: You value humility a fair amount. You tend to be an easy going, humble person. But occasionally your ego takes over. You have a slight competitive streak - and the need to be the best. Tolerance: You value tolerance highly. Not only do you enjoy the company of those very different from you... You do all that you can to seek it out interesting and unique friends. You think there are many truths in life, and you're open to many of them.

The Five Factor Values Test

So I do just about everything a 'fair amount'... seems pretty vague. You are like this, BUT sometimes you're not. Isn't that true of a lot of people? Anyway, the last part about tolerance is very true. Intolerant people shouldn't be allowed to breed.

Technorati Tag: Quizzes

Match Report Monday

Let me say for the sake of those reading this who have no idea how rugby league is played or what the terminology is, I've added some links throughout the report. I've also left all names unchanged, since there are no surnames to ID the boys with. Unless you know me you won't even know which one is mine. The Tween is the only one whose photo I'll post, however.


Date: March 12th, 2006
Where: Purtell Park, Bardon
Who: Wests Panthers v Centenary something or others
Result: Centenary won....but not by too much 32-6


Yes, that's right.... we scored a try!!! And converted!!! A miracle, you say? Not on your life. A result of some really good play... but details on that will follow.

Firstly, as Big Kev would say "I'm excited!" The boys played really REALLY well on the weekend. Ok, so they were beaten on the day. They made a few mistakes... you get that. The thing is, they showed real promise and it was a gazillion percent improvement on the Caloundra game. Yes, a gazillion percent!! They looked good in attack and there were some brilliant tackles (and some lacklustre ones... but we'll forget those, shall we, and concentrate on the positives).

From the kick off the boys chased hard, and tackled well. Josh came up with a jolting tackle and knocked the ball loose in Centenary's 20m zone. From there, Centenary were offside and we received a penalty. Josh took the quick tap and bolted away to the tryline for our first try of the season. Unreal!!

I have to say, we all got a little excited on the sidelines. (A little excited??? Understatement of the year that - Mooselet) Zac L. converted with a great kick and we were up 6-nil. Holy guacamole! We were ahead... leading... winning.... in front.... what to do now???

The boys were pumped. Unfortunately, Centenary came back with 3 quick tries but our boys dug their heels in and came super close to scoring a couple more times. Then Centenary scored a few more tries and we were pretty much out of it but those mighty little Wests Panthers kept trying. They honestly did play the best football I've ever seen them play. Everyone had a go and they looked great when they spread the ball wide.... yes, they actually passed almost to the wingers. They moved the ball left and right, they made great yards, but they just couldn't crack the line.

Zac L. had a couple of blitzing runs down the sideline and came soooooo close to scoring it wasn't funny; he just got pushed into touch at the last minute. DJ made some great breaks and almost got over the line. Michael almost got over the line. Harrison had some good runs in his first game back. Broden, Josh, Zak S. and Eli all had some good runs. Felix came on and made some good busts up the centre. Simon dragged several Centenary players up the pitch repeatedly and took on their big bopper, Sam, as well. Matt dived on a ball in goal to save a certain try. Jake, as always, followed the big boys up and snaffled their offloads. Dozer and Charlie threw some great passes wide to get the boys moving. Jarrod made a heap of try saving tackles (although I'm not sure about the boxers under the footy shorts look Jarrod :-). Honestly, there were some really good plays. They were a different team.... hell, they were a "Team", full stop.



The funniest thing was when the ref packed down the first scrum. Our boys had never done a scrum before. Glenn and Adrian (our coaches) had given them a quick rundown on the procedure 2 minutes before kick off. Michael was horrified that it required him to stick his head between 2 butts. The backline (those not involved in the scrum) all shrieked with laughter as they tried it. Classic!! That quick training run paid off though because not 5 minutes into the game, the first scrum was packed and we won it against the feed. That never happens! Brilliant stuff!

Great work boys. These are sure fire signs that the boys are so tantalizingly close to their first victory, I can almost taste the victory beer. I am as confident that they will experience their first victory early in the season, as I was that the Wests Tigers would beat St. George this week.....and we all know who won that game don't we? (Wests Tigers... yes, another shameless plug for my beloved NRL team... that's the benefit of being the match reporter... you can say what you like and YOU all read it before you can choose not to)

So.... top notch effort boys. Great game. Don't worry that you didn't win, that first win will come very very soon if you keep playing like that. I was a very proud mum and Wests Panthers supporter yesterday. Job well done boys!! A few more training sessions and we're going to be a force to reckon with this year. "I can feel it in me waters."

- match report courtesy of Miss WTF.

Technorati Tag: Junior Rugby League

Here's A Tip...

I suck at tipping. Not the "leave-some-money" tip, but the "pick-who's-going-to-win" tip.

This sentence from one of my online tipping competition sums it up:

YOUR TIPPING:
Terrible tipping, you scored 1 points.

Fuck. That's not even proper grammar; 1 points? Good thing there's no money involved, or the kids would go hungry. Only pride, of which I have very little, was lost. On the whole, a very disappointing weekend. And not just with my tips.

I'm thinking I should take up drinking and try some of Dave's favourites. I might have more luck all around!

Saturday Skinfest

Well, I've done just lousy so far in this first week of NRL competition. Hopefully I can salvage some dignity and pride tomorrow, or at least take comfort in the fact that the professional tipsters screwed up as badly as me.

Let's see if these can cheer me up! Our first contestant comes to us from the Penrith Panthers, let's give a warm welcome to winger Nick Youngquest. Never have tighty-whiteys look so good:


I had some tiny reservations about this next player. I don't like him. Never mind that he plays for the Sydney Roosters and he's a Pom, but his playing style is beyond rough and hard-hitting. Adrian Morley walks a very thin line between aggressive and thuggish. But on Saturdays I'm not about the style of play, I'm all about perving on the muscles:



I've got Miss WTF to thank for the above pics, and now that the season is in full swing I should have no problems finding more cheerchicks for you guys, either. Here's the losing entry from last weeks coin toss, our blonde cheergirl from the Dragons. I felt sorry for her, as her boobs are two different sizes:



More to come next time!


Technorati Tags: NRL Players, NRL Shirtless, NRL Cheergirls

Can I Get an Amen??

"Jesus loves you!"

Oh, that's nice. Can I hear it from Him next time and not you?

I usually run as fast as I can (which isn't all that fast anymore) when confronted with a religious type. I don't care what type of religion you're espousing, I want nothing to do with it. Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Satanists - you all can bite me.

That's not entirely true. I'm perfectly happy to have you practice your religion as you see fit, as long as you leave me out of it. I believe in God, or a higher spiritual being that I refer to as God for the sake of simplicity, but I don't do religion.

So when someone tells me that Jesus loves me, I either smile blandly and ignore them or I make a sarcastic remark. Depends on the type of day I'm having.

But what do you do when the person telling you this is your daughter?

I guess it started midway through last year. She started going to something called Encounter Youth with her friend AliBug. AliBug goes to a private Christian school and had been going to Youth off and on since moving next door. After several attempts to convince my previously atheist Teen to go with her, she succeeded. The Teen, in a moment of boredom, decided to go.

She was hooked instantly. She came home that night a believer. I hoped it was a phase, like her vegetarian stance that lasted two weeks. Or her attempts to give up chocolate, or stick with an exercise routine. It wasn't. She started bringing home Bibles and attending special events. She started talking about being baptized in the Pentecostal church where this is held.

Oy vey. We needed to talk.

I explained to her mine and the Hermit's beliefs. While we come from different religious backgrounds, neither one of us has strong religious tendencies. We think it's a private issue and should remain so. If she was serious about continuing, she would have to respect our beliefs as well. There would be NO attempts at converting us, or any criticism of any family member for their beliefs. In turn, we (ok, me) would not poke fun at her newfound faith nor try to change her mind.

This arrangement has held up well, although privately the Hermit refers to it as 'the cult'. We know where our daughter is every Saturday night, and there are far FAR worse things she could be doing. So she listens to Christian rock along with all the usual pop suspects, has 3 Bibles and gets grumpy with me for 'colourful' language. She's still a typical teen:



But last Saturday she jumped into the car and proceeded to tell me that Jesus loved me. She and AliBug hung their heads out the window and screamed "Jesus loves you!" to passerbys. They told fellow patrons at McDonalds how Jesus felt about them, and I had to drag them away from a group of young men who took exception to being told about the Son of God. The Teen got permission from her (public) school to start a prayer group on Monday's during lunch.

I don't know whether to be proud or horrified. I'm swinging back and forth between the two at the moment. She's standing up for her beliefs, which is great. She's also taking on an issue that many regard as out-of-bounds. We're on opposite sides on the belief scale here. I want to support her but I don't feel comfortable with what she's doing.

This is the Mother's Curse, isn't it? Punishment for all the times I drove my mother to the brink of insanity. I'm sorry!!! I didn't mean it! Tell me how to reverse it - do I burn some incense or sacrifice a small rodent or what? How do I resolve this issue?

Hey Jesus - if you love me so much, how 'bout some help here?

Technorati Tags: Religion, Teenagers

What Would You Do?

Last week I went on a bit of a rant about why people do things. Remember that? Go read it, I'll wait...

OK, the last bit about the Hermit coming off the bike and no one stopping got the most responses. Everyone gave lots of reasons why 'someone' might not stop to help but they would. Or at least like to think they would.

Today's Courier Mail has this story, and it made me angry and sad about the state of humanity. A woman suffers a stroke at a large bus terminal and lays in her own vomit for over 5 hours before someone stops to help her. FIVE HOURS!!! There aren't words to describe how that makes me feel.

The woman, 62 year old 'Aunty' Delmae Barton is a well known and respected Aboriginal leader who was heading to her job at Griffith University when she collapsed. Now recovering in hospital, she wonders if the failure of the hundreds of people who pass through the bus stop to stop and help her had to do with her race.

"Everyone was treating me as a freak, like I was a drunk or something," she said.

I don't know. Perhaps race was a factor, but not the sole reason. It's not just a black/white issue. It's humanity. We suck. We've become so self-absorbed that we just don't care about anyone not directly connected to us, and even then we may hesitate. How easy is it to come up with an excuse not to visit someone in the hospital, or in a nursing home? It's more common than you think.

I'm generally an optimist, a "glass half-full" type of girl. But things like this make my stomach turn. I really hope I never have to rely on the kindness of strangers, because I beginning to think such a thing only exists in fairy tales.

I'm a Winner

Winner of the 2006 Slacker of the Moment goes to.... me!!!


Because I've only just taken down my Christmas tree this weekend.

It may have taken only 6 days for God to create the Earth and for Israel to defeat Egypt, Jordan and Syria, and 66 days for the Mayflower to cross the Atlantic to carry the first English settlers to New England, but it took me 68 days to take down my Christmas tree.

No wonder the Toddler kept talking about Santa.


Technorati Tag: Procrastinate

Body Surfing, Bitumen Style

Friday morning. I had just gotten home from dropping the Teen off to catch an early bus to school. Still in my jammies, I was about to hop into the shower when my mobile phone rang. The caller ID showed it to be the Hermit on his mobile. He had left for work about 45 minutes ago, so I figured he was calling me to tell me he had forgotten his wallet/key card/money or perhaps all 3 and could I please bring them in later?

I hit the connect button and was greeted with the sounds of rush hour traffic. "Yes dear?"

A huge sigh of frustration, more traffic and then the words, "You're not going to believe this..."

Oh hell. I knew instantly what he meant. Wrecked the motorcycle again.


"Are you alright?" Well of course he was alright if he was calling me, he reminded me. Right. Could I call RACQ (AAA equivalent) and organize a tow truck? Sure. "What happened?"

He was nearly to work, and this particular road opens up to 5 lanes at this point. The 2 left lanes break off to go opposite ways on a bypass, whilst the remaining 3 go straight into lovely Brisbane. In the far left lane was a panel van, and next to him was the Hermit on his bike. The other 3 lanes are full of half-awake commuters heading to work on a dreary, rainy Friday morning.

Panel Van Man is off in La-La Land, thinking about his upcoming weekend or perhaps the fact he got laid last night. Whatever it was, it wasn't about where he was going. Realizing he's heading off to the Sunshine Coast and that isn't a good thing, he wrenches the steering wheel hard to the right.

Unfortunately, this is where the Hermit is. He grabs the brakes, hard. Last time he did this he did a cartwheel over the handlebars. This time, however, the roads are wet. The bike tips to the right and gives up the ghost... and the Hermit.

As he surfs on his side down the road, the Hermit's first thought is, "GODDAMMIT!!!! I just got the bike back. Fuck!!! GODFUCKINDAMMIT!!"

This is quickly followed by the realization he's sliding down a multilane road during peak hour traffic, the bike heading safely toward the side of the road and the Hermit sliding the opposite way toward the middle of the road. Knowing just how inconsiderate Brisbane drivers are and what happened last time, his next thought is, "Shit! I hope these people behind me stop. I need to stop sliding so I can get out of the road before I get run over. Please stop, stop, stopstopstop."

He did eventually stop after an 75-metre slide. How he managed not to tumble ass over head is beyond me. Traffic did stop, as did the fellow who caused the wreck in the first place.

"Oh geez mate, I'm really sorry. I didn't see you!"

Well no shit Dick Tracey. Guess those mirrors on the side of your van are purely for decorative purposes?

Hermit and bike are gathered up and brought to relative safety on the side of the road under the shelter of the overpass. Injuries are quickly assessed - torn jeans and arm of leather coat, torn skin under said tears, road rash and lots of bruising. Other than that - and a large dent in his pride - he was fine. Although he did call me to come and collect him from work around 9:15, so I knew he was quite sore. Hell, he went to work the day after his knee surgery!

The bike is back at the repairers, awaiting an assessment of its own. I'm dreading the insurance bill. This one wasn't his fault, but I'm sure two accidents in three months will cause his premiums to go up just a little bit.

And for the record, no I'm not demanding he stop riding. Yes it scares me that this happens and I'm well aware that one of these times he may not be so lucky to be able to get up and walk away. But he could be hit by a car one Sunday morning on his bicycle. He could've been driving his ute (pick-up truck) to work that morning and have been hurt in the collision, as the ute wouldn't have been able to get out of the way of the van. Any number of unfortunate events could befall any of us at any given time. Demanding that my husband give up something that he's been doing long before he meet me and truly enjoys would be very selfish on my part and cause untold resentment on his part. No way am I putting myself through that shit.

All I ask is that if he's going to continue riding, be sure his life insurance is up to date. Of course, not trashing the bike every other month and costing us lots of cash in the process and me lots of worry would be nice, too.

Technorati Tags: Ducati, Motorcycle Accidents